This being the season of “DARE to BARE”, starting from Sanjay Baru, Natwar Singh and Aamir Khan, the Indian National Congress rightly decided that it will not be found wanting on this score.
After a brain storming session with ManiShankar Ayyar, Jairam Ramesh, Manish Tiwari, Kapil Sibal and Manmohan Singh, the Congress core committee decided that Sonia Gandhi should come out with her version of “TRUTH”. They justified the decision in their own way:
Mani: This book will be a bigger hit than MEIN KAMPF and all Chaiwallahs will give up selling chai and end up as book sellers.
Jairam Ramesh : The environment polluted by falsehoods, lies and hot air will be cleared once and for all for the benefit of the aam aadmi.
Kapil: There will be ZERO loss in this investment and we can make up for the loss incurred on National Herald.
MMS: Theek Hai. ( to himself—Thank GOD, I have been spared of the torture of telling the truth).
Faking news had the privilege of a pre release review of Sonia’s forthcoming book.
Excerpts from a chapter titled ‘Kharge, the Accidental LOP’ is reproduced below:
May,15th, 2014: The loud voices of the Congressmen around me were urging me to become the PM at least this time.They assured in unison that in case Sushma swaraj went ahead and carried out what she promised in 2004, all of them (Abishek Manu Singhvi,included) will tonsure their heads and grow a beard for the rest of their lives,so that Sushma will not be conspicuous.
May,16th,2014 : All the voices on TV,radio and phone were confirming that INC will not be forming the next Government. I called Priyanka. She opined that Rahul should not become the LOP, since it will interfere with his foreign visits. Moreover he has to open his mouth and speak in Parliament everyday, whereas he is more comfortable with his eyes and mouth shut.
When I asked Rahul, he said that LOP is all nonsense and I should not become LOP, because the BJP will tear me to pieces. He did not want to see her crying everyday.
May27th,2014: My inner voice,which was dormant all these years, suddenly woke me up in the middle of the night.It urged me not to become the LOP. It urged me to be on the look out for someone who will play the role of LOP the way MMS successfully played the role of PM.
My inner voice whispered “Kharge,Kharge”.
May28th,2014: Mani Shankar, Kapil, Manish, Jairam and all other well wishers of INC hail Sonia for her supreme sacrifice in declining the post of LOP.
‘Sonia and Rahul are not after power or status; they are for the empowerment of the meek and the innocent’— tweeted Sanjay Jha.
From 9p.m. onwards Arnab wanted to know on behalf of the Nation, WHY? WHY? WHY?
Faking news also came to know that the book is to be titled
“ONE ACCIDENTAL LIE IS NOT ENOUGH”