Tuesday, 24th October, 2017

Nobrapost sting operation likely to unmask 'clever' Congress spokespersons

02, Jan 2014 By dhakkadchora

New Delhi. The controversial ‘journalism’ website-blog Nobrapost is back with a bang. The agency has released excerpts of a tapped telephone conversation between two very famous Congress stand-up comedians – Sanjay Jhadu (SJ) and Gabru Surya (GS).

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Leaked.

We have managed to get the full transcript of the conversation as provided below-

GS – Hello Guruji

SJ – Arre, hello hi chodiye.. Jai Sonia maa boliye, hello hi chodiye.. Jai Sonia maa boliye.. zor se bolo Jai rahul baba ki, saare bolo Jai rahul baba ki, prem se bolo Jai rahul baba ki.

GS – Oh ok ok..my bad… Jai Rahul baba ki! So wats up guruji?

SJ – Nothing much bro, just came back from the Times Now studios, now with my mary jane.

GS – Ah lovely. Okay so how was it this time? The usual?

SJ – Yeah yeah the usual stuff, he punched me in the face a number of times, then removed my shirt and stripped me on cameras. Spanked me on my arse and..

GS – Awwwww…And you loved it, init?

SJ – Oh yes of course I do.. I don’t get to sleep unless abused and assaulted by Ornab on national TV. At times when I don’t make it to the studios for a debate, your aunty Mrs Jha beats me with a jhadoo and chappal.. I so love it.

GS – Awwwwwww….

SJ – Yes dude, see now you also have to take one step higher.. enough of assaults on twitter.. even KRK has launched a youtube channel now where he screws himself in front of his own camera.. by the way dude has got some real talent.

GS – Yea I know guruji.. even I have got bored of it now.. want some change myself.. I wish to be bigger than KRK one day… one day.

SJ –  Exactly bruv! thats wat I am saying.. come out in public view; it’s a different adrenaline rush all together when you get assaulted on national TV, and I so love it. Last time, Ornab himself said that he can’t handle me anymore and is bored of beating me and threatened to get someone like Beni Prasad tauji to replace me.

GS- Oh crap.. and then?

SJ – Dude, I had to ask Diggy uncle to convince Ornab so my position is retained.

GS – Phewww… that was close.

SJ – Oh yes it was.. anyway, I will talk to the Poonawalla dude and he will set you up on a few TV debates.. he has got big links!

GS – Yes that would be great.. last time I tried contacting him he was high on something and partying in a club with firangi babes , and tweeting on politics, poverty in India.

SJ – Oh yes.. that boy is a charmer and a multi-tasker.. I reckon thats why Rahul baba adores him so much.

GS- hey that reminds me and also the reason I called today.. did you buy that Grand Theft Auto5 blu-ray for Rahul Baba? Remember he asked for it in our whats app group Smells Like Teen Spirit.

SJ – Well I thought Manish Tapori must have picked it up.

GS – No yaa.. Manish Tapori left our whatsapp group after Zero Sibal and Randeep Bhurjiwala joined…  don’t u remember?

SJ – Oh fishhh.. I must be high on my mary jane then.. my bad.. don’t worry I will order it now and ask Chatur didi to pick it up from the store.

GS- Okay that sounds fine.. guruji, make sure you get it delivered.. don’t want to look bad in front of Rahul baba now.

SJ – Yea i know.. too much competition among dolts already out there to be a Congress spokesperson… u don’t worry.. I will also send a card to Rahul baba congratulating him on finishing the 125th stage of Candy Crush.

GS – Awesome guruji….Cool then.

SJ –  okay later then… Jai Rahul Baba ki

GS – Jai Rahul Baba ki.

Author: @Jiro_Baat