Wednesday, 21st March, 2018

Nilekani, UPA PM candidate to contest Bangalore South on symbol of Bakra

12, Dec 2013 By none

As per a media reports, Congress is considering to project Mr. Nandan Nilekani as its Prime Ministerial candidate for UPA-III. Although Mr. Nilekani has rejected such reports saying “Complete rubbish. This must be a figment of someone’s over-active imagination.” the truth is something else.

According to our sources, Mr. Nilekani doesn’t want to contest on the symbol of a Hand, which shows Palm, once a darling but now a dumped operating system. He finds it too ridiculous for using for Bangalore South seat full of software programmers. While other human body parts were being considered (and shot down) in Congress, suggestion for a completely different symbol for Mr. Nilekani is in circulation.

Will he get the votes?

The symbol is that of a male goat, called “bakra” in Hindi. There are some strong advantage of the symbol over the hand (or any other body parts):

  • A Bakra portrays a weak, meek, sacrificial animal, the true symbol of a mango man in Congress’ mind
  • A Bakra also portrays the real picture of the prime minister in the dual (or triple) centers of power – just in case Congress/UPA wins this time also
  • A Bakra will highlight the contrast with “Bharat maan kaa sher” (Lion/Tiger of Mother India) image of too masculine Modi. The aggressive style of Modi’s polity can be challenged by reminding people that a Lion/Tiger and a goat can’t coexist
  • A Bakra, a stinky, smelly animal will highlight a contrast with the feared broom sweep of Aam Aadmi Party
  • A Bakra can be labelled “Alpha Bakra”. The West will confuse it stands for Billy Goat Gruff but Bangalore techies will realize what it truly means – a guinea pig
  • A Bakra doesn’t make much noise
  • A Bakra can eat anything – humble pie, crows, fodder, papers of coal mine allocations or 2G allocation or (un)Commonwealth Games, “torn and tossed away” ordinances and even peels of bananas from a Banana republic

As the press is hot, Congress has completed its search for a Bakra. Now it is searching for enough Bhed (sheep) in South Bangalore to get all the requisite votes.