After so much of speculations, statements, suggestions and sarcasm, NDA (Non Decisive Alliance) has finally announced its strategy to select its PM candidate for the general elections which are scheduled to take place next year.
“The selection of the NDA’s prime ministerial candidate will be done through the tournament PM of the Year,” said the NDA spokesperson in the press conference held today. Explaining further he said, “There is a huge number of eligible candidates in NDA who can be the next PM, hence we have decided to go with tournament so that we can find out the best among the best.”
However he refused to give the internal details of the tournament such as the competitions and the participants. “Participants will have to face difficult physical, economic, mental and tactical situations to emerge as a winner,” he added before concluding the conference
Faking news contacted Mr. Jethmalani for his comment on this decision. Jethmalani refused to comment but provided us the complete architecture of PM of the Year tournament (we expect this may fetch us improved TRP and another show cause notice to Mr.Jethmalani).
As per the plan, total of 291 (yes you read it right) candidates will participate in the tournament. There are 5 rounds to test the expertise of the candidate. The tournament will be an annual event and if NDA comes to power, India may get 5 different PM in the next 5 year.
In the first round, the candidates will face News Hour debate with Mr. Goswami, the survivors will move to the second round and the family of the candidates who will die in the process will be given Rs 500000 each.
In the second round, the candidates will be subjected to Ram G Verma (RGV) brand of movies plus an additional dose of the epic movie “Joker”. People who won’t be able to survive this round will be provided air conditioned facility at Mental illness treatment institute in Agra for next five years.
The third round is a written test designed by famous economist Arindam Chaudhary. We contacted him to get his take on it, “It will be an extremely difficult test and I don’t expect many will be able clear it. But the candidates should not get disappointed. Those who fail can take admission to any of IIPM courses and get selected to other posts as lucrative as PM through our world class placements.”
The final two rounds will take the test of the physical strength of the candidates. Sports like “musical chair” and “passing the parcel “are the 4th and 5th round of the tournament respectively which takes a heavy toll on human body.
Experts believe that these two final rounds have been included by the RSS to bring in a youth as the next PM as theses sports demand high level of physical fitness. The winner of “passing the
buck parcel “ will be the next PM. RSS will be governing the whole tournament.