Thursday, 17th August, 2017

Narendra Modi's speech algorithm

27, Feb 2014 By parthnandedkar

With the BJP going full throttle over its 2014 Modi centric campaign and reports suggesting that the BJP could go all out with not 50, not 100 but more than 250 mega rallies (half of which have been named as “VIJAY SHANKHNAAD” rallies) and setting a target of reaching out to 25 crore people all over the country, there has been speculation about the existence of a BJP ” mass rally content production” unit which undertakes mass production of speeches.

Narendra Modi
“One algorithm”

However as many of us know , every mass production facility requires a specific algorithm for manufacturing which can be adjusted according to the customer’s needs.

“Till now, shri Narendra Modi has addressed 128 rallies,” said a BJP leader to Faking News, but when quizzed about the speculation of mass production of (repetitive) speeches he replied in his own style, “Jab shabd ek ho to panktiya anek nahi ho sakti, aur jab panktiya ek ho to uski shayari anek bar nahi ho sakti , Lekin jo ek hi pankti ki shayari dus bar kar de woh sirf navjot paaji hai , aur koi nahi“, and he went on to indirectly indicate that the Amritsar MP is the one man army behind this factory of speech lines (and behind his shayari lines).

Faking News editors bring to you the common intersections between seemingly all of Modi’s rallies (irrespective of which state he is in) :

SYNTAX (State): replace syntax by the state in which the rally is being presided over (City): district of the rally (Regional party): regional party of the state (Sattadhari party): party in power (Shehzade): (you know who)

1.”Manch pe viraajmaan bhajpa rashtriya adhyaksha Shri rajnath Singh ji , bhajpa (state) unit adhyaksha aur lakho mein virajit hui janta janardan ko mera salaam.”

2.”Mitron! Mera aur (state) ka ek bahut anokha rishta raha hai. Bhaiyon, behnon is (state) ki bhoomi Veeron ki bhoomi hai! Mere Gujarat ke mahaan santon ka is (city) se Gehera nata hai!”

3.”Bhaiyon, behnon ,is (state) ki janta ka (Sattadhari party) se vishwas Uth chuka hai (BJP ruled states obviously do not have this line!!).Mitron, Mere Gujarat mein 24*7 bijli milti hai ,main aap se poonchna Chahta hoon, Kya aap ko 24*7 bijli milti hai? “NAHIN!!” Mitron, iske liye to CHHAPPAN inch ka seena lagta hai!!!”

4.”Itna hi nahi, hamare Shehzade kehte hai ki Garibi ek Mann ki avastha hai,’ poverty is a state of mind’. Maa raato raat aasu pilakar bachche ko sula deti hai, lekin is Dilli ki samtanat ko yeh kabhi nahi samajh aayega”

5.”Isiliye main kehta hoon ki (regional party) ne jo shuruwat ki thi use poora karke hum Congress Mukt Bharat ki kalpana karte hain!

6.”Poori taaqat se dono mutthi bandh karke bolenge? Vande! MATARAM!”

So this is what the mass production is about, but we still wonder if Navjot Singh Sidhu has started writing meaningful lines as well.