Thursday, 29th June, 2017

Narendra Modi plans public bets with Rahul Gandhi on corruption

10, Jan 2014 By none

As per latest from Bharatiya Janata Party, Narendra Modi has turned the debate on corruption in his favor in a very effective and cost-effective way. This step is believed to steal thunder from Aam Aadmi Party’s largely single point anti-corruption agenda.

The frank and outspoke Rahul.
Ready to bet?

The favorite prime ministerial candidate has decided to attack corruption and Rahul Gandhi’s stand within on corruption in a very non-traditional, man-to-man, roll-up-the-sleeve way that you can’t even imagine!

If our sources are to be believed, Mr. Modi has decided to ditch debate way and adopt bet way. By February 30th, he is planning to challenge Rahul Gandhi with public bets, losing which Mr. Modi has pledged donate Rs. 1,000/- each to UNICEF and winning which Mr. Gandhi will have to donate the same amount to UNICEF.

Our correspondents (some of them hold a degree in Astrology) have even found the list of bets. Here is the full content, first time only on Faking News:

  1. The scam involving Mr. Veerbhadra Singh is not the LAST scam by UPA to be unearthed by election 2014 (bet Rs. 1,000/-)
  2. For each scam that got unearthed during UPA I and UPA II
    1. Nobody will be brought to the court (each accused prosecuted Rs. 1000/-)
    2. Of those who are brought to the court, no case will complete (each case completed Rs. 1,000/-)
    3. Of the completed cases, no accused will be convicted (each convicted Rs. 1,000/-)
    4. Of each convicted, nobody will be sent to jail by the election (each jailed Rs. 1,000/-)
    5. Of jailed, everyone will be out on jail either on bail or on medical reasons by election 2014 (each in jail during election 2014 Rs. 1,000/-)
    6. Not a single rupee from the scam will return to the exchequer by election 2014 (each lakh crore rupee returned Rs. 1,000/-)
    7. Next scam

In turn, Congress has just shrugged. “Betting is illegal and immoral. Congress doesn’t indulge in such bravado”, said Digvijay Singh, the superstar of Faking News.

Replying to this, BJP’s ever serious Meenakshi Lekhi said, “As they say in the United States, are you ready to bet your money on it? You can’t be serious until you are ready to place your money on any speculation. This kind of moral high ground is a sham of Congress. They have stooped low to conduct the scams in first place and now they are talking of betting being illegal!”

Manish Tewari from Congress, the raising star of Faking News replied further, “Yes, bring it on! Do you know what is going to happen? Even if half the scams are addressed partially, Mr. Modi will go bankrupt. Also, where is he going to get money from? His personal wealth is very limited. He was a chai-walla.”

BJP spokesperson Prakash Jawadekar has retorted on this comment as, “Because there will be no action from the government, we wonder whether Mr. Modi will have to donate a penny. He is a smart Gujarati, you know! Our worry is, if Mr. Gandhi picks up the bets, how is he going to pay lakhs of rupees? He doesn’t even run a tea-stall! Probably he will have to borrow from his jeejaa.”

Chuckling with a smile, Kapil Sibbal replied, “We told you enough times and more that Mr. Modi is a wrong example to follow. This is why our prime minister has identified Mr. Modi as a pending disaster for the country. Do we want to have a culture of public bets? Tomorrow some other party will place a bet on 100% literacy or completion of Ganga-Kaveri linkage or end of Pakistan-sponsored terrorism or anything else that should be done! Betting limited to cricket matches is fine. In politics, you can’t even bet about onion prices!”

Breaking tradition of English speaking media, Faking News even tried to get response of Rahul Gandhi himself. He rolled up his sleeves. We are waiting for further response. Probably we will never be able to imagine the reply.

In the meanwhile, the count of children dying of cold in the refugee camps of Muzaffarnagar has exceeded the number of people that died in the riots themselves. A few thousand rupees of blankets from UNICEF could prevent such deaths.