PM Modi simply rocks, when it comes to personalization and PR campaigns and there can be no denying that. First he set up a whole new Fashion Line with his ‘Modi Jacket’. And then he went ahead and set up a designer section to it, with a Self Name engraved Bandhgala.
If that was not enough, now Modi has launched his own mobile application. Oh Yes! NaMo has gone ahead and launched an android App which has been ingeniously named as ‘Narendra Modi’ and has his grinning face on its cover.
The App is free to download at Google Play Android Store. When you download the App, you get the message “Narendra Modi has been installed on your phone” and then there is no escaping. You will get regular updates from the PM himself, with an occasional personal email too and a regular dose of his “Mann Ki Baat” and TV speeches.
The App will also be coming up with some special features, as reported by my drunk sources. Firstly, once you install the App, you won’t be able to uninstall it and it will always run in the background and you will have a permanent Narendra Modi screen saver on your phone. The App will also keep popping up if you are using some other App, in the same way that Modi’s speeches and advertisements keep popping up all the time.
The App will regularly go off at 5 am every morning and will not let you sleep till way past midnight, exactly as per Modi’s schedule. Once you wake up, the App will force you to do Yoga. If you don’t, a digital hand will come out of your screen and slap you in the face. You will not be allowed to eat non-veg at all. If you ever eat non-veg, the App will start shouting “Anti-National, Anti-National” at full volume.
And if you eat beef, by any chance, the App will automatically book a One-Way ticket to Pakistan, for you, through, Mukhtar Naqvi Tours and Travels Pvt. Ltd. The App will also be used to inform you about various things that are happening in your own life, before you know they have happened.
The App has a recipe section which will teach you to make foodstuff like Dhokla, Fafda and Sevaiya. Maggi recipes are banned on the App. The App prevents you from having alcohol of any kind, not even beer! But if you keep your phone face down on the table, the App will turn a blind eye to your drinking sprees. This module is called the “Gujarat Model” of Drinking.
Everytime you are having tea, the App will start by itself and a Modi Holographic image will appear from your phone and do a “Chai Pe Charcha” with you. There is a problem here though.
The App will work only for those people who have voted for Narendra Modi as the PM. If you haven’t voted for NaMo and you download the App, you will be automatically pushed into the closest Sea or any other water body available, including bathtubs and commodes.
Of course, there is a cheat code available for such cases. If you whisper “Har Har Modi” 100 times in your phone, you will be incorporated in the special “Bhakt” category and the App will function smoothly, also giving you 200% more battery time.
The only drawback of this App might be that post installation, some users have complained that their phone screen size went from 5 inches to 56 inch.
Disclaimer: The functions mentioned above are subject to change and may or may not be a part of the original package. They are mentioned for illustration purposes. Terms and Conditions Apply. Read the Offer Document Carefully.