Saturday, 21st October, 2017

MPs protest porn ban: "What should we browse on phones?"

05, Aug 2015 By hopefool

A group of pAAP MPs have been sitting on indefinite Dharna in order to protest the porn ban. They will have sex only after the ban is lifted. Their leader Mr Khujliwal says, “Woh badnaam karte gaye, hum ‘kaam’ karte rahe. Lekin abhi ye ‘kaam’ karne ki prerna kahaan se aayegi. Aam kaam ke liye porn awashyak hai!”

Sources close to this reporter say that the party was relying heavily on the porn industry to subsidize the free wi-fi it had promised. Some MPs from other regional parties have raised both arms in protest and are offering to jump into bed with any party that supports their position.

“Frankly, some sessions are boring. We almost fell asleep listening to the boring talk in parliament. But we can fake a look of being deeply interested if we can browse porn,” said an MP anxious to not be named.

A government spokesperson has defended the move saying that porn websites are against Indian culture. He further added that while the right of a man to rape his wife (or a minor he has ‘married’) is sacrosanct, viewing legal porn material made by consenting adults is a heinous crime. He further reveals plans to ban condoms as they too are related to sex.

In other news,the government has slashed healthcare budgets and stopped subsidising sterlisation programmes and HIV treatment. The new development goal is to be worse than Sub Saharan Africa in maternal and child mortality rates.