Kolkata (Rioters) – Reports are coming in that Kapil Sibal is untraceable and perhaps lost in a poetic cloud that is hovering over Kolkata right now.
Mr. Sibal reportedly went out in the morning for his customary poem recital that he conducts for himself, and never returned. Some eyewitnesses who went scurrying in order to avoid him, reported that he started reciting what he thinks is poetry, and suddenly the green area where he was conducting his solo recital went dry, with all plants and trees shedding their leaves.
They also said that many birds abandoned their nests in what looks like a last ditch effort to save their lives from Mr. Sibal’s poems. They further added that the dry area caught fire, and being full of air anyway, Mr. Sibal floated upwards and was soon lost to a cloud that emerged as a results of his poetry.
Scientists are scratching their heads on this phenomenon, but dismissed it afterwards saying “why bother, its zero loss anyway”.
Congress spokesman Manish Tiwari has squarely blamed Modi for the loss of the inventor of zero loss. Before he could be fully informed, his first reaction was “Modi is to be held responsible for this. His ambition is the cause of all ills”.
Elaborating further, he said ” If you don’t believe me, ask Digvijay ji. He will tell you that what I am telling you is what were told to tell because what else is there to tell?” He stated that all efforts are on to trace Mr. Sibal but Mamta Banerjee is not cooperating as the cloud has moved on to Kolkata and is in her jurisdiction.
Mamta on the other hand, has said that it is Congress’ conspiracy to raise a stink in Kolkata. “Why else would they upload Sibal? Anyway, the cloud was a small one but after Sibal entered it, it bloated like a big zero, and is hanging over our heads!
We are not worried about the rain, but what would we do if he falls on our heads??”. She added that Congress wanted to spy on Mamta’s government, and has sent Sibal to do it after he failed in his attempts to monitor Internet last year. “It all adds up this time, doesn’t it!!”, she said as a parting shot.
Update Zero: People in Chandni Chowk, Sibal’s constituency, are not bothered. “He was never here anyway, who cares?”
Update 1: It is reported that Navjot Singh Sidhu, the absent MP from Amritsar, may have surreptitiously joined Sibal in his poetic cloud. This was confirmed because lately a lot of lightning has been reported from the cloud.
Anonymous sources say that it could be because Sibal must be reading his poetry to Sidhu, who in turn must be beating himself black and blue, causing the turbulence and lightning in the cloud.