Saturday, 21st October, 2017

Modi vs Kejriwal - Part 1

09, Jan 2014 By R K Singh

With 2014 general elections just round the corner, BJP’s Prime Ministerial candidate, Narendra Modi needs more media attention. However, post the impressive debut in Delhi, Aravind Kejriwal has become the centre of media attraction for the past few weeks. Kejriwal’s swearing-in ceremony was telecast live on almost all TV channels, on a few foreign TV channels as well. Newspapers are full of analysis, commentaries and editorials on AAP phenomenon. Hitherto used to undivided media attention, Modi does not like it.

“Do they have any uniform standard or not?” Modi told his close associates Smriti Irani and Amit Shah. “This is Kejriwal’s first election. I have won Gujarat, a bigger state than Delhi three times in a row. Kejriwal has not even got a clear majority. BJP under my leadership has got more seats than AAP in Delhi. Yet these pseudo-secular media people behave as if kejriwal has won all the 70 seats in Delhi.”   

“How can they do this?” said Smiriti Irani.

“Saheb, this is very unfair” added Amit Shah. “Let us come to power after 2014 elections. We’ll ban the media and puts these monkeys in jail. Have they forgotten what we did to Tejpal?”

“Amit, tuum emotional mat ho yaar. Let us think of something. If there is a problem, there must be a solution, mitron” said Modi.

“Modiji, I have an idea to bring back all the media attention that we have lost to this kejriwal. May I…?”

“Aare! When did I stop you, Smiritiji? You’re our future PM candidate?”

“Kya Modiji…aap to baas.” Smiriti Irani blushed.

Just then, BJP spokesperson Meenakshi Lekhi entered with BJP president Rajnath Singh. “Modiji aap to bahut tense lag rahe hain,” Lekhi said when saw Modi’s tense face.

“Meekakshiji….please don’t take the name of AAP.” Modi hissed. “Arre! I’m worried about this Kejriwal’s growing popularity and you are doing aap aap.”

“Smiritiji, what were you saying? BJP president intervened to placate his PM candidate.

“Modiji, I was saying that can’t we do something exceptional to snatch back all the media attention that Kejriwal and his jhaddu chaap aids are getting?

“Smiritiji, please tell what’s in your mind?”

“Modiji if you don’t mind…we call an emergency press conference and you offer unconditional apology about your role in 2002 riots.”

“How can you say this? I’ve been exonerated by the court.” Modi looked offended.

“Modiji, this is not for me. I know you’re innocent. Did I ever doubt you? But just think about it.  As soon as you apologize, all the pseudo secularists – Digvijays, Tewaris… will start criticizing you or your intention or the timing of your apology but the hounding media will get something new to discuss and debate. In the process, you will again become the centre of media attention.”

“Nice idea Smiritiji…if ever I become the PM of Bharatmata, I will most certainly make you my Manish Tewari. Aap to kamaal hain ji… ” Modiji guffawed for the first time in 24 hours.

“Sir…aap bhi aap”?

“Oh sorryji…but no problem ji…now we have a strategy to deal with aap….Aap ki Kasam…”

“Modiji, I also have an idea…”Rajnath singh added. “Why not you….?”

Phir kabhi Rajnathiji. Let me have a look at WEF’s world competitiveness index and see where India stands vis-à-vis Pakistan. I have to address Gujarat Chambers of Commerce and Industry this evening.”

Next day Modi tweets:

“Mitron, I hereby tender my apology for 2002. I promise you all including those from other communities that whatever happened in 2002 will not happen again.”

Alas! It was not so easy.