Now that Mr Arvind Kejriwal had taken an IT interview, Modi Sarkar wants to be Interviewed for IT job too. Though many corporates are ready to give him job through backdoor he wants to take the interview to gain publicity.
Modi-Sarkar tries to get into “cloud computing” job (you know C++ is common man’s job, cloud is high-tech) 😉
Interviewer: Welcome, Mr. Modi Sarkar. Please have a seat.
Person: Nah! I am not Modi-Sarkar. Modi-Sarkar doesn’t meet anyone in person. I am here to set-up a 3D Technology telecast connection from here to Modi-Sarkar. You know he may now get the US visa too and could be attending this interview from Hawai too.
Interviewer: Surprised !!! Oh ok, so since Modi-Sarkar I believe I don’t have any choice than to say yes. So yes go ahead. Let Modi tell (the person interrupts and shouts – no one calls Modi-Sarkar by name call him Modi-Sarkar only)… Interviewer (scared): Sorry, Modi-Sarkar please tell a bit about himself.
After the 3D Technology and live cast is set-up there is a huge noise outside the building. When the interviewer opens the door he sees a bunch of Modi supporters covering the entire building and evacuating all employees and chanting slogan “Abki Cloud Computing – Modi-Sarkar”. Now the person tells the interviewer that Modi-Sarkar doesn’t answer any questions as well. But they have a person from Gujarat answering his questions and telling about the “cloud computing” Modi-Sarkar had done in Gujarat.
Person From Gujarat: I am a simple person from Gujarat. I have no affiliation with any party or Modi-sarkar. Since there has been questions I wanted to world to know the truth about the clouds of Gujarat. (Interviewer interrupts – Sorry, I am not interested in knowing about you but about the candidate). I have seen the clouds of Gujarat. In-fact I or anyone in Gujarat knew what clouds were until Modi-Sarkar came. We get milk from the clouds of Gujarat. When we need tea we get tea from the clouds. There is special programming and governance to ensure no coffee will be server but only tea. Gujarat is so high tech that we don’t have roads we drive on the clouds. We have 100% electricity. You realize that the clouds when they “clash” that creates lightning right !!! So we have electricity (aka lightning) all the time. Any death associated with lightning has nothing to do with the cloud programming. I believe that Modi-sarkar can extend the clouds of Gujarat to all over India. I learned that the planning of infrastructure done by Ambani and Adani are taking into consideration of extending the clouds to all over India. He says he has not seen the clouds with his eyes, the clouds are so advanced that it can only be seen through the computer. He boosts saying he had seen those clouds in various colors in many computers. He also warns, anyone trying to visit Gijarat looking for the clouds will be arrested as cloud watching is against the policy of hiring. The scope of the project was defined to cover entire “Bhaarat maatha ki jai”. All outside members chants “Abki Cloud Computing – Modi-Sarkar ki”. Interviewer: Overwhelmed and sweating.. ok, ok. I asked you to tell me about yourself, not about how you are planning to acquire the complete nation. Anyway, lets leave that aside. Now tell me what relevant experience you have for this project and how you can contribute to the software? Any certifications or specific work you have done with details on Cost-To-Income ratio etc.
Person From Gujarat: Agitated: Look, how can you ask any questions to Modi-Sarkar. Haven’t we told you about the clouds of Gujarat. The bus stations in Gujarat are not bus stations they run “Pushpaka Vimanas”. How dare you ask for details and certifications. Don’t you know that you are supposed to accept everything that Modi-sarkar says. If you want to know the cost to income ratio Modi-Sarkar’s campaign wing will show you the roads on the clouds, developments with 100% electricity and you can even take a ride on chartered flight sponsored by Mr. Ambani and he will happily charge $1 per unit more for these proofs for the entire nation. If you want other proof I just need to give a sign and all our supporters with come in and “show” you the proof “Bhaarat maatha ki jai”. All outside members chants “Abki Cloud Computing – Modi-Sarkar ki”.
Interview: (Scared…) That is interesting. We have identified there were some problems in the code created by a previous programmer name Vadodra and we wanted to know how Modi-Sarkar plans on fixing them.
A new person steps in: I am from the campaign wing of Modi-Sarkar for Cloud Computing. We have invested millions of rupee in this campaign. Our aim is to make “Abki Cloud Computing – Modi-Sarkar ki” (entire mob outside chants the slogan repeatedly). We are going to do everything after that to recover thse costs. We also have plans to increase the problems done by the previous programmer because Modi-Sarkar beleives in win-win. Vadodra’s win in Modi-Sarkar’s win too. Infact if you haven’t noticed all the members that will be supporting Modi-Sarkar cloud computing have been specifically chosen. Only people who have prior experiance in writing code and able to divert money are chosen. Any person who had been sent out or was caught doing any misuse of code or access is given first preference. “Bhaarat maatha ki jai”. All outside members chants “Abki Cloud Computing – Modi-Sarkar ki”.
Interviewer: Excellent idea!! I am sure it will “transform” our company. Coming to the next question. What is your take on security? Do you think a programmer should write code keeping security considerations in mind? You know, there can be virus attacks anytime.
Modi-Sarkar (Over 3D Technology live connection): I am totally in favor of security. In-fact anyone that opposed our supporters have been thrown out of this building already. Anyone that that opposes Modi-Sarkar will be terminated. I just referred anyone opposing will be “terminated”, I meant their employment but if some people think of another meaning for “terminated” I am not responsible for that. Once we have only people supporting Modi-Sarkar there will be no question of security. I don’t ask anyone to call me Modi-Sarkar but people calls me that (raises hands asking people to chant and they go “Abki Cloud Computing – Modi-Sarkar ki”).
Meanwhile some news channels talks about few other senior candidate names Advani, Joshi, Sushama Swaraj etc and how they were not approving of the Modi-Sarkar… There is some talk about the names and suddenly all the names and talk disappear. People should again “Abki Cloud Computing – Modi-Sarkar ki”.
Interviewer: Trying to flip through the nomination Bio-data and curiously asks: In the initial online application you filed couple of days back you mentioned you are single and you don’t need any additional living expenses etc and thus you would be the right candidate for the job as you don’t really need the money and wants to do this job for passion. But in the form that you filled-up now at the front desk says you are married. You do understand that we are a company that does not discriminate against religion. It also does not matter for us if you are single or married. That question was there just to know and nothing more. So out of curiosity did you get married recently? If so congratulation on your marriage. Hope you were not trying to hide your marriage earlier and trying to gain anything saying you are single? You understand that our company does not believe or see any difference between married or single? We don’t thing the Married people do any bad because they got married and they have a family.
People outside: “Bhaarat maatha ki jai”. “Abki Cloud Computing – Modi-Sarkar ki”. Continue the slogan and shouting.
Not able to speak due to the chanting grabs the newspaper and flips through. Surprised that the news paper only has complete advertisements saying “Abki Cloud Computing – Modi-Sarkar ki”. He grabs another paper and another and another and all of them only has one advertisement from front page to back “Abki Cloud Computing – Modi-Sarkar ki”. He pinches himself to make sure he is not in any dream or on the clouds. He now turns on the TV and any channels he flips to all has only one advertisement “Abki Cloud Computing – Modi-Sarkar ki”.
Interviewer: Surprised and puzzled asks how come you have so much money to place all these advertisements? Do you own these paper and TV channels? Who are you why are you trying to get this job? I don’t see our company has this much turnover so you invest so much money on these advertisements?
People outside: “Bhaarat maatha ki jai”. “Abki Cloud Computing – Modi-Sarkar ki”. Continue the slogan and shouting. Meanwhile the person from Gujarat tells in the interviewer’s ears that some companies had identified that there is huge profit and extreme wealth hidden under this company and they want to gain control of that. That is why it is important for all those companies for Modi-Sarkar to be the next cloud computing person.
Interviewer: Tell us why we should choose you, what will we get in return?
Modi-Sarkar (Over 3D Technology live connection): You don’t need to choose me. I have already been chosen by god.
Interviewer: That is a mind-blowing idea. Now I am running out of time and would like to finish this interview with this final question. We interviewed 3 other candidates before you today. Tell me why should we hire you instead of them?
Suddenly the people outside gets agitated without any specific reason and starts shouting maaroo maaro… And all people attacks the interviewer. They hit him with chairs, weapons and furniture from the room and breaks the glass doors and walls.Interviewer somehow manages to escape and jump out the window of 10th floor where the inter was taking place. Let’s hope there were clouds to support or save his fall and he is still alive.
Now you tell me, do you want to be in the virtual clouds an want a C++ or Java programmer that knows the problems with the code and how to ?interact with the team and business and solve the real problems.
Interviewer: Oh, sorry. Interviewer escaped the mob and still trying to recover from the attack and shock, so no comments from interviewer !!!