Thursday, 19th October, 2017

Modi claims to having saved the world; fanatics rejoice

22, Dec 2012 By anex

In a shocking revelation on NaMo TV, Narendra Modi’s local TV channel, the recently re-elected chief minister, Narendra Modi informed the people of Gujarat that he has indeed successfully saved the world and averted the doomsday crisis predicted for the 21st of Decemeber, 2012. The announcement sent a wave of joy and relief across his followers and fan-boys that marched the streets of the facebook posting updates about the incident.

Modi’s PR firms, APCO and MutualPR were quick to leverage the opportunity and infused the Internet with posts, photos and videos heralding the CM as the true savior of the world. In one of the posts, Modi was shown fending off meteors while in the adjacent frame Sheila Dixit was helping herself to generous servings of dal-makhni, shahi paneer and butter-nan.

The hue and cry for Modi as India’s Prime Minister reached a new high with some people even demanding him to be declared the overlord of planet Earth, if not India, in acknowledgment of his brave and valorous act. The British consulate initially welcomed the proposal but after Obama expressed his discontent and claimed that only the United States should have such authority and control, they retracted their statement.

It was a busy day at the PR offices. Many fake twitter and facebook accounts had to be reactivated for the massive propaganda. One of the APCO employees expressed his excitement, “We weren’t expecting such a need after the elections were over. We were really caught off guard.”

Enron employee and part-time Finance Minister of India, P. Chidambaram, dismissed this and claimed that it was actually Congress’s victory that all its party members are still alive without having to have moved a finger.

Facebook fanatics laughed off the senseless reply and began writing songs in praise of their leader without as usual verifying on any ground realities. Sensible guys and girls who asked for proof were once again bullied across facebook and twitter by the force of fanatics with articles, posts and photos put already in place by Modi’s PR firms and of course as is customary barraged with “I am from Ahmedabad and it rocks” claims.

One of the Modi fans offered the explanation for all the events and posted a detailed article on how 3D projection technology helped Modi take multiple ‘Avatars’ in order to tackle the impending doom at different locations. He also discussed how the amount of public money spent in organizing these shows can now be assumed to have been well spent. A paper was in fact been submitted today for acceptance in IEEE’s 3D Projections and Religious Applications Journal. However, it was immediately rejected.

As scientists raised doubts over this presumptuous claim, many sensible Indians explained that this is how the dice rolls with Modi and his PR engine. Modi also dismissed the objections raised by the fraternity of young women of science by asking them to understand the science of roti-making before moving on to the science of world saving. As usual, no one noticed this side of Modi’s character and accepted this as a completely valid and funny remark. Many cynics hopeful of an end to the mockery that has been made of humanity, expressed their disapproval of Modi’s actions on which Modi repeated a well rehearsed, “If I have committed any mistake, I apologise”.

While no evidence to back or reject the claim has surfaced, the world has happily accepted this to be truthful and are eagerly awaiting the 2014 elections that would probably prove itself to be the real doomsday for the Indian Democracy.

Mayans were unavailable for any comment.