Wednesday, 28th June, 2017

Modi Cabinet gives way to most sportive cabinet

04, Jul 2014 By rajs

After 45 days of hard work, Modi Cabinet has decided to take rest for a year and handed over the cabinet responsibilities to most liked people in India.

As Chess is the most fitting sport where players sit and play, Vishwanathan Anand was chosen to sit in India’s most coveted   chair – PM’s one. Being PM gives Anand the no 1 position and now he can use all strategies possible.

Finance  falls on RajiniKanth who in between film shooting for his  “Lingaa” will look into finance of India.  Rajini quipped, “I always make money for my producers with commercial hits; same way I will make money for Indian Govt.”

“Each Indian govt department will be treated like a movie project and should be commerical hit to bring money to Govt. Before Each complaint, each petition to any department petition/complaint tickets at Rs.100 a ticket will be issued.  If the customer doesnt laugh by the replies of the govt staff, then money will be refunded. This way customer is assured of govt  performance and govt gets money for its schemes, staff’s job routine becomes laughing comedy.  This is 3 in one scheme to change the entire Indian way of looking at the Government.”

On being appointed Minister of Defence, Sachin expressed his surprise,”I was thinking Sunil was the best choice as his defence was impeccable, I am more of an offensive player; I am sending a request to PM Vishwanathan Anand to rename the ministry as Offence Ministry”. He ordered  101 Straight drive Helipads to the offensive Ministry as a first act.

Shah Rukh Khan after recent  IPL7 triumph for his KKR is already jubilant and when informed that he is very powerful as Home Minister, SKR ordered arrest of all Wankhade Stadium staff who were responsible for his “throw out” from the Ground as a first act. Mamta congratulated WB ambassador and termed SRK as champion of the poor.
Being the new Railway Minister after steep hike of 14.2% in Railway fare, Rahul (Not Gandhi -it is Dravid) justified the enquiry into  betting scam in Railway (Betting 1) whether the train will derail today or not 2) whether the train will ever come on time in a month’s time table, etc.)involving multi crores – Drivers and Station Masters were prima facie hand in glove with the scam in detaining, derailing to get bet advantage to select few.He ordered that the enquiry to be fast-tracked.
The new Power Minister Chetan Bhagat who wrote on
  • Why do our students regularly commit suicide?
  • Why is there so much corruption in India?
  • Cant our political parties ever work together?
  • Does our vote make any difference at all?
  • We love our India, but shouldnt some things be different

made his point- Power can change all these things He announced  power ministry will handle both electricity power and Will Power of Indians. Drastic steps were announced by Power Ministry to enhance will power (300 mw per Indian) of Indians to stand against injustice.

In his interview Agriculture Minister Dhoni said “My shots were initially called “Agricultural shots” as they were not from the Cricket Books but from a humble village cricketer inventions. Now that I am given Agriculture Ministry is a honour for my background.
I will try to improve agriculture in India by “Helicopter sowing, helicopter weeding, helicopter spraying, helicopter shots of vaccines to cattle, etc. “
Aamir Khan in his usual smile said “3 idiots are there in India” 1) Those who dont communicate at all  to others 2) Those who communicate lot to others 3) Those communicate diseases to others.  If we can take care of these three then Communication Industry will come off age. 2G scams, 3G scams and 4G scams will not happen in my Ministry they will all be converted to 2 D cams, 3 D cams, 4 D cams with minimum 62 Mega Pixels.

Mahesh Bhatt , the new  HRD  Minister first talked about  his “Humari Adhuri Kahaani” and how he did  get Vidya Balan for the top role.  He went on to announce HRD Awards to all film personalities that he introduced. He released old still  named Memoryland: A picture of Pooja’s debut film Daddy. (1989).  When asked what he will do to India, Mr. Bhat “I want to create an India full of vibration with lot of films and job opportunities created by Media in all walks of life, for example if an IITian doesnt get a job after 1 year job search, he will be given film training by famous film directors(yester-year) and Govt will co-produce film for profit.  This will create atleast 1000 more films  a year and 1 crore people will get employment.”

Arundhati Roy heading Women and Child Development, still in touch with P.M. Anand to get his moves right to appease this section of the Indian community.  If the Women quota is passed, then what they can do for Children Quota, where they can apply that? She assured that Human Rights in India will be her top most priority, and all women normal  convicts will be released immediately along with their women naxalite cousins.
External Affairs Minister Sunil Gavaskar was not approachable as he was in one country one hour and next country next hour, so it was not possible. But he tweeted to say “everything will be fine, dont worry, I will take care”.  All media could do was jut publish that tweet for the last 7 days.