Friday, 20th October, 2017

Minister Seeks Report on Whether Getting Hit by a Train Will Cause Death

09, Apr 2015 By electroman

New Delhi: A Senior minister has asked for agencies to provide him reports that prove getting hit by a train will cause death. This issue has garnered national attention after the claim that unmanned railway crossings should have pictorial warnings. The minister claimed that getting hit by trains in India does not cause death.

Man safely fearlessly crossing the railway track despite finding the train: Minister points out
Man safely and fearlessly crossing the railway track despite finding the train: Minister points out

In a press conference he explained it to the media people, “It is just like how people claim that smoking causes cancer. It’s just a myth. I have asked AIIMS to conduct extensive research in to this matter. They will conduct live experiments and provide reports on this issue.” He was very much satisfied with the current level of warning on the crossings.

It is a well known fact that the minister is very well endorsed by the graveyard lobby. The media is claiming that the lobby is pushing for a move which would make people crossing railroads have to be blindfolded and should be wearing noise cancelling headphones.

He also wants to bust many more myths while he is at it, such as:

“Eating Cyanide causes death”.

“Being an honest IAS officer causes death”.

“Standing up against the sand mafia causes death”.

“Being a constable in a fake encounter causes death”.