Sunday, 20th August, 2017

Middle-aged Indian men run the country

28, Aug 2014 By crackhouse

Bhupinda Singh Hooda, chief minister of the Haryana state cabinet, has announced that they would increase the age limit for all candidates for government service by two years, from 40 to 42. Hooda has been holding regular cabinet meetings over the past month, in which he has made a variety of announcements intended to please specific sections of the region’s population.

Experts speculate that the target of this specific concessions, which will take effect immediately, is that portion of his constituency currently suffering from a mid-life crisis. Proponents of the theory suggest that the extra two years allows potential candidates for government service a full 730 extra days to think about what they’re doing with their lives.

Medical professionals have talked at length about the fact that the mid-life crisis conjures images of people doing “outrageous, impractical things, like quit a job impulsively.” Doctors specializing in the psychology of older, more rigid segments of the population suggest that applying for positions as dry as those offered by the government represents another, more uncommon example of such excessive and misguided behavior.

“Very few people aspire to positions in civil service in their youth,” says one expert, who requested anonymity. “Taking such positions is something we typically only see in those who are truly bored to death with their current occupations.”

Those who claim that Hooda’s announcement is a nod to those suffering from a rough mid-life transition point to the bulk of government officials themselves. “Largely, they are middle-aged Indian men, almost sure to be suffering from middle-life crises themselves,” reports a recent census of Haryana’s civil service unit and general population. “It is not unlikely that they hope the announcement will encourage others suffering from the same condition to their offices, helping to quell general discontent by encouraging solidarity amongst the aging segments of the population.”

Hooda also announced that government job workers will receive full pension benefits after 20 years, rather than 28. To many, this constitutes further support for the mid-life crisis hypothesis, as the promise of such benefits almost a full decade earlier than in the past is “guaranteed to reduce the distress older men suffer from due to their greying hair and growing bellies,” according to our expert.