Friday, 23rd February, 2018

Men's rights activists demand that everyone chant Bharat Pita ki Jai

11, Apr 2016 By satani

New Delhi. Maintaining their knack of finding misandry where there isn’t, Men’s Rights Activists (MRAs) have been protesting against the stubborn stance of BJP (Bharatmataki Jihadi Party) and their allies like RSS (Radical Support Staff) and want people to chant Bharat Pita ki Jai instead. Their main line of argument is that Bharat is a the name of a male person, and so Bharat can only be a father.

They urged Ramdev to come out of the closet (with clothes on) to help the cause of other celibates like themselves, and rebrand the purpose of his brainchild, The Chopper’s Stop. They told that Vivekananda, founder of modern Men’s Rights Activism, would be utterly unhappy with the current state of affairs, if he were alive. They cry that his soul is indeed unhappy, not because his prophecy of living a 100 years fell short by decades, but because people want to see India as a Goddess, not a God.”

Showcasing their protest
Showcasing their protest

Rahul Gandhi, probably doing what he thought might please his votebank, which is under attack for being opposed to the chant of Bharat Maata ki Jai, came out for the support of the MRAs. As an act of reciprocation, MRAs demanded to make a temple for Rahul Gandhi just as there is a temple for Sonia Gandhi based on the infallible logic that a Devi can only give birth to a Devta.

MRAs took advantage of the often unnecessary media coverage in complaining how Male leaders have been pushed out of the race in the ancient Indian tradition of divinifying the rulers, citing the example of Jayalalitha being thoroughly divinified as Amma whereas PM Modi being only partly divinified, despite having greater power.

The MRAs elaborated how Modibhakts are not as religious as Amma bhakts. “We are a country of divine lions and tigers now resorting to worshipping cows”, one of them blurted out. “There was a time when the trishul reminded everyone about Lord Siva’s weapon, and now even that has been reduced to the toy of Radhe maa. Pointing towards a higher conviction rate for scandalous godmen as opposed to scandalous godwomen, they gave an example of Asaram landing in jail but Amma (Sudhamani) being free.

A bunch of top secret documents of MRA archives released via Faking leaks indicate that Jnupam Kher might be a secret member of the Men’s Rights Association. A barbered video (yes barbered, not doctored, Jnupam doesnt go to a barber) showed Jnupam suggesting that chant of “Bharat Uncle ki Jai” be made compulsory, which was instantly turned down on the grounds that according to MRA ideology, an Uncle represents a failed MRA who got married.

MRAs point that RSS owes them for the idea to upgrade from chaddis to pants. MRAs had recently urged RSS to not wear shorts as they were already uncomfortable about the demand of women to be able to wear shorts. A fake thesis written by an MRA, published on his own blog cooked up a wild theory how this chaddi wearing is a sign of Stockholm syndrome, where RSS have worn chaddis to identify with the aggressors, the modern liberated women.

Meanwhile, Kejriwal claims to have a solution to this row in suggesting an odd-even rule, that we chant Bharat Pita on odd days and Bharat Maata on even days. MRAs objected saying that they don’t want “Bharat Pita” to be associated with something that is odd, to which Kejriwal masked a facepalm by pretending to mask his cough.