Wednesday, 22nd November, 2017

Mayawati is the first victim of obsessive elephansive disorder

13, Sep 2013 By ideepakrana

A team of doctors in Lucknow confirmed that Mayawati is suffering from Obsessive Elephansive Disorder – a medical state in which the affected person gets seriously obsessed with elephants and tries to surround himself/herself by them.

This is the first case of OED and therefore the doctors have decided to name it after her – Maya OED. In the mean time, there are number of issues that have arisen in Indian politics due to this illness.

Mayawati, who aspires to become the prime minister of India in 2014 general elections, has pledged to expand the territory of her elephants to all parts of the country. She said, “I will govern all the 22 states of India and so will my elephants.”

Sources suggested that she is planning to launch an elephant campaign in the upcoming elections. She has adopted a number of elephants from various wild life sanctuaries, which has helped her to develop some sort of kinship with Menka Gandhi.

Mayawati’s lawyer has already filed the name change application from Mayawati to Gajgamini. She has also stopped addressing people who are looking for reservations saying that she wants to spend more time with her dear ones.

Mayawati with elephant

The 2014 election manifesto of BSP is out and it is not surprising to see the proposals getting affected by her illness. Inspired by the dictator Aladin, Mayawati has decided to replace many words in the dictionary with – Elephant.

She has proposed a new curriculum in the school education where the word Elephant would appear more number of times than any other word. In the fourth grade science book where the pictures of various animals are mentioned along with their names, she proposes to put Elephant in all the names.

Similarly the story books will also be renamed such as – Eleph-ant Wonderland, Eleph Laila etc. That way it would be easy for children to remember all the important things – she says.When our reporter tried to ask the intentions behind changing the curriculum she said that the question was irrElephant.

This has attracted severe criticism from various political leaders. BJP has called it a conspiracy against Hindus, in which Congress is also involved. Congress on the other hand is saying that they are a secular party.

When our reporter asked the relevance of their answer, Manish Tewari used many phrases of English language but was unable to get beyond the secular point. Rahul Gandhi for the first time has spoken on an issue too.

He addressed an assembly of poor people and compared them with elephants, “Elephants are poor but then so are you, how come they are being loved and you are not.”  He ended his speech with the usual phrase, “Don’t ask what the country can do for you, but tell me what you can do for your country.” 

Mayawati has stayed silent on most occasions except in case of Mulayam Singh Yadav who called her the biggest elephant. She has compared him to a parrot who could not even understand single word of what he is saying.

Twitter is also flooding with #Elephant tweets. From the Prime Minister’s twitter handle, so far we have seen only one tweet. It said – Theek Hai. But when our team approached him for his opinion on this issue, he was found smiling.

He said that the issue would be resolved soon and he was going to play a card. He pointed towards the card which was lying on his table. On focusing with our high definition camera we figured out the three magic letters that were written on it – CBI.