Tuesday, 27th June, 2017

Martians nominate Mulayam for Nobel

17, Oct 2014 By flyleaf

In a recent turn of events, bunch of Martians have nominated Mulayam Singh for Nobel in physics, chemistry, biology, literature, peace and all other categories.

The news broke out after Mr. Singh was conferred doctorate by his son Akhilesh. Soon after agitators had taken to street demanding the adornment of Neta ji with Nobel. Finally Martians took the responsibility upon themselves and filed the nomination

History: Mars was going through some serious political, administrative shit storm. They were under an oppressive, autocratic, feminist regime of MhaMayawati, who rose to prominence fighting for rights of untouchable Martian women. It was in these dire times, when some Martian decided to look for solution on the nearby planets. The diaspora which landed on earth had it difficult. They weren’t able to communicate with anyone, let alone find answers. Luckily on one fine evening they heard of a state, whose name could be translated to “Answer Province”, run by an eminent socialist leader, whose name could be translated to “Softy Singh”.

Softy singh’s speeches were the one they could understand as its bandwidth stretched across the entire frequency spectrum (hence the nomination for science). Anyways, since the province had answer in its name, they hoped of getting few from its leader. Much to their surprise, even Mulayam could fathom their frequencies and assured of help. Many of the earthlings, fail to sync up with Mr. Singh’s idea of society and socialism, but Martians were able to. Mr. Yadav also sent some of his pet goons to help administer Mars.

Present Situation on Mars: The Mars administration is quite ecstatic having brought many of the reforms brought by Softy Singh. For instance, rapes have been legalized under Martian Penal Code naming it as “mistake”. They have also, successfully communalized Martian population. Riots have become a common phenomenon. According to MOM’s report 500 martians were killed and millions displaced after spree of violence on Demos, one of Mars’ moons. Minority appeasement policies have also gained significant appeal. Goons sent by Softy Singh have helped reform the police and civil services by filling them with people of a particular clan, and enforcing ‘Gunda Raj’ through them. “Andar se mulayam” has become the new Martian anthem.

Considering his scientific, social and political contribution to Earth and Mars, his delayed nomination for Nobel had perplexed a lot of Neta ji’s followers. With Martians coming through with nominations, the whole Answer Province has gone frenzy. The elated Mars President has sent his regards and wishes that Softy Singh wins the much awaited nobel he deserves.

PS: NASA is looking forward to using his services to decode encrypted spatial messages.