Tuesday, 12th December, 2017

Leaked! Rahul Gandhi’s return speech

08, Apr 2015 By szena

My fellow countrymen,

Being your uncrowned prince since 1970, I would like to express my deepest apology for not being present in public life for last few weeks. Yet I am not actually sorry for that, not a bit also. You know why? Because today morning when I reached India at night I went up to my mom for my favourite Complan (You guys know that I am a complan boy. Ohh yeah coz I am 5’9”) . I told my mom that should I be sorry for being absent? My mom immediately told something which I will remember for a life time. Mom said being absent is a state of mind, what really matters is that all these days I was on the duty of you people. As our captain Dhoni said, “I too was on national duty”.

Rahul Gandhi during his speech
Rahul Gandhi during his speech

I know that you people must be having high expectation of what I have thought for you during all these days for your betterment. Yes it is true; I was planning day and night about our party and nation of course. I have devoted 55% of time on woman empowerment only because I know and strongly believe once women are empowered, our economy can grow at 26%. I have confirmed it from Diggy Uncle and Jay-Ramu bhai. You would be glad to know that I have enrolled at one US University to research on my early conclusion on “Poverty is a state of mind”. Poor guys have enrolled me in Philosophy instead of Economics.

Coming to Land ordinance, I have gone through it in so detailed manner that I can recite it without looking at it. You can ask Diggy chacha for the proof of it. This time we have got a solid plan to stop it. We have planned to book Taj and there before the press meet I will tear off the ordinance paper. As you people already know that government can’t block an ordinance in a cabinet meeting/parliament but I can do that simply by tearing it off. History stands as the proof of it.

I believe preventing this land ordinance would help in woman empowerment and poverty so let’s do it again.

Adiós

Rahul.