Thursday, 22nd February, 2018

Kesari Tours and Travels offer the post of CEO to Sushma Swaraj

05, Jun 2015 By dashy

The Kesari Tours and Travels has invited BJP Minister Sushma Swaraj to become their CEO, or so my drunk sources report.

In a rather vagrant move, the famous tourism company has tried to rope in Sushma Swaraj, who is currently acting as the Minister for External Affairs of India, to head their operations in a bid to leave the competition behind.

With the amount of tours and trips that Swaraj has been organizing for PM Modi, via the MEA, this is hardly surprising.

A close aide of the Kesari Tours has confided to my sources that the decision has made due to the fascinating packages that Swaraj seems to be managing.

Maldives, Seychelles, Sri Lanka ! France, Germany, Canada !! China, Mongolia, South Korea !!! Simply amazing. There isn’t a single other Tourism company who can organize such excellent packages.

Swaraj has, however, politely refused the offer made to her. Apparently, she is busy enough selecting the future packages for Modi, as reported by my drunk sources. And its not an easy task either.

First she has to find a country where no other Indian PM has ever visited before, so that Modi managed to become “The First Indian PM to visit” that place. Then she has to find neighboring countries, and make a combo pack. Then she has to make sure, there are enough Indians in that country, so that Modi can appeal to the NRIs there (though that’s not very difficult, since Indians are almost everywhere).

And then finally she has to write up a speech, which will have Modi saying, “When I was young I always wanted to be/liked to eat/played with a …” to go in accordance with that particular country.

Like Chow Mein for China or German Shepherd for Germany …. you know, something like that, I mean, what would one find for Israel. So it’s definitely not an easy task.

It is currently reported that Swaraj is busy finding the right package and discount rates for Israel Visit and thinking of combining Turkey with it, so that they can write a speech saying “When I was a child, I had a pet Turkey”.

There is also a visit planned for Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan and Kyrgyzstan, where Modi will be talking about his best friend from childhood named “Stan”.

But what is the loss for Kesari Tours and Travels, is definitely the gain for the MEA and the people of India.

With the amount of gifts that Modi receives on his foreign trips, I am sure we can open a museum out here, though I wonder where they will keep the horse from Mongolia.

My drunk sources have also reported that, SOTC and Thomas Cook are planning to file a case against the MEA for stealing some of their tour programs, but thats debatable.

Disclaimer: The MEA’s role is strictly relegated to making bookings for the PMO requirements ONLY !!! Anyone who tries to book their own packages via the MEA will be sent to Afghanistan on a Donkey, or to Pakistan on a Naqvi or a Giriraj, if you are a beef eater or haven’t voted for Modi.