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Kejriwal starts placement drive on Maria Sharapova's Facebook page for election campaign

11, Jul 2014 By gareebengineer

New Delhi. Economy expert, Arvind Kejriwal, was seen yesterday expressing disappointment after the budget was announced in the parliament. Passing the message clearly through his Facebook page, the same page which has now become the national online hub for all the intellectually fractured and logically blind citizens, Kejriwal discussed the need to create employment opportunities for young Indians and curbing price rise.

Social media expert, Arvind Kejriwal, has now decided to take matters in his own hands. Since the summer heat is too much for any comfortable dharna, job creation expert, Kejriwal, will be seen carrying out a recruitment drive online. The recruitment drive aims to employ people out of work, and also those who don’t believe in questioning or logic, but in being a blind follower.

Arvind Kejriwal
Arvind Kejriwal operating his Orkut and Facebook accounts from different phones

Sports expert, Kejriwal, posted that he was going to conduct his dharna cum placement drive on Maria Sharapova’s page, the same page that was vandalized a few days back by people who appeared to have come straight out of the headquarters of AAP.

History expert, Kejriwal, while addressing a public rally on Orkut, demanded that the government should have included subsidies for people spamming other people on social media websites.

“I went to the World Bank to ask for loans for promoting my party’s pages on Facebook, but they have been bought out by Ambani. How does a common man get his message across on Facebook without money and other financial resources?” beamed Kejriwal, after stepping out of his WagonR.

Marketing expert, Kejriwal went on to say, “I have decided to recruit people from Maria Sharapova’s page. These people have proved that with wishful thinking, channelized patriotism, and blind dedication any common citizen of India can get a Russian to his or her knees. With this drive, I am expecting the online unemployment rates to drop by 94% and hopefully this shall get us back in Delhi.”

Our correspondent left a scrap for Kejriwal, asking that was it justified to include spammers in their election campaign. “The people of India see them as spammers. I see them as a common citizen trying to fight unemployment. The people of India have come together to beat the price rise on Facebook. Facebook doesn’t belong to Mark Zuckerberg, but to the people of India, and they must conduct themselves the way they feel it is right for the country,” replied Kejriwal via a testimonial.

Kejriwal plans to organize an online fame raising campaign. People with more than 500 likes on their comments and pro-Kejriwal posts would be receiving a direct message from the man himself. Those who manage to troll the #achedin campaign shall be mentioned on Twitter. More such schemes are being planned as the elections for Delhi CM approach.

After this announcement, activity on Maria Sharapova’s page has again gone up, but this time it is not for Sachin but our employment expert, Kejriwal.

Arvind Kejriwal is also planning to include Alia Bhatt for his campaign this time, as she had signed up as many as 1568292 times on the website of AAP, beating Angelina Jolie by a margin of 82832, and George Clooney by 199399. Script expert, Kejriwal, was last spotted with Alia Bhatt, cheering Mumbai Indians at Wankhede stadium.

“We tried Gul Panag last time, but she features in any Bollywood movie after a gap of 4-5 years, which is not good for public memory. We need someone who doesn’t raise questions but only eyeballs and vote count,” remarked the party spokesperson.

With this masterstroke, governance expert, Kejriwal has embarked on a path to reduce unemployment online, and help people deal with the rising marketing costs on social media. Will astrology expert, Kejriwal, get through this time as well, only an SMS referendum shall decide?