Thursday, 22nd March, 2018

Kejriwal alleges conspiracy as no model strips for AAP

16, Feb 2014 By arpansinghal

In a dramatic development that could send some balls rolling, Arvind Kejriwal has demanded a probe into the sex appeal of the PM candidates Narendra Modi of the BJP and Rahul Gandhi of the Congress Party.

The move comes after upstart models Meghna Patel and Tanisha Singh bared it all for the two PMs in waiting, causing uproar in the AAP ranks, whose leader Arvind Kejriwal has had no one willing to do even a photo-op with him, leave alone a strip job.

No one for aam aadmi
No one for aam aadmi

Iski jaanch kaun karega? Aam junta pak chuki hai is nangepan se, aam aadmi ke liye kaun nangee hoyegi?” roared Kejriwal to the utter embarassment of his colleagues at their leader’s sexist remarks.

However, according to a leading sociologist, such behaviour is typical of IITians who enter the real world with practically no understanding of women. That the statement came on Valentine’s Day left most of the RaGa women empowerment club and South Delhi’s Hauz Khas Village party circuit aghast.

Faking News surveyed the sentiment in the capital’s leading pseudo neighbourhood, where many girls were up in arms against their Chief Minister. Said one: “We are shocked at the insensitivity and blindness of who we thought was an honest and empowering new age politician. We have been under-dressing and even undressing in Hauz Khas Village for aam boyfriends and aam fiancees for two years now. Even in winter, we wear practically nothing as we go clubbing here, and this is ultimate proof of our modesty honesty.”

Kejriwal’s outburst has clearly shown the fissures in AAP ranks, many of whom are simply no match for the 56-inch chest thumping Modi and the half-Italian half-Indian boyish Rahul, that cater to the caveman and metrosexual choices, respectively, of women out there.

AAP has called for an audit of all beauty and cosmetics companies like L’Oreal, Forrest Essentials, MAC etc in a move that is largely being seen as a vindictive attempt to destroy the good-looks quotient of Delhi women, who will turn ugly overnight if any of their beauty secrets are taken off the shelves.

AAP justifies the move, hoping to bring the average looks of Delhi girls down to at least their almost-MLA Shazia Ilmi, who was too good looking for AAP standards to get elected from her South Delhi constituency. Faking News reporters have also received currents of a possible clampdown on lingerie brands like LaSenza and Adam n Eve, whose scintillating collection of items goes against Aam Aurat requirements.

Congress PM-unnamed-but-hopeful Rahul Gandhi did address the issue at a rally in Khan Market today, saying that his nauseous attempts at uttering ‘women empowerment’ 237 times in his interview with Arnab was part of a strategy that has beautifully paid off.

“I have been saying that the system needs to change, and that we need to get into the behinds minds of women, for which they need to be empowered”, said Rahul, at which point the crowd simply vanished in fear of hearing another mention of the word “empowerment”.