India’s best comedian-lawyer Shri Kapil Sickle has demanded that the elections for Lok Sabha seats, held in Gujarat recently should be countermanded and held afresh outside Gujarat because Narendra Modi has gained undue influence over the voters of Gujarat by distributed among them free and massive development along with corruption-free, good governance.
The best location according to this lawyer turned comedian will be some place in the midst of the Indian Ocean or on islands like Andaman and Nicobar, so that those who vote for Modi can be thrown easily into the sea, thereby causing ‘zero-loss’ to the exchequer.
He further demanded that Faaltoo Abdullah be made the Sole Election Commissioner for conducting these elections as he is the most secular person on this side of Pakistan Occupied Kashmir and is also soon going to be unemployed.
His contention is that because the voters are prejudiced in favor of Modi, the right of establishing a secular, elected government in Gujarat should be given to the Bangladeshis living peacefully and secularly, all over India and who have a very fair, impartial, neutral and natural leaning attitude towards Congress.
Reliable sources also inform this reporter that the healthy Sickle also suggested privately to the powers that be, that the contract for transporting the electorate to and from the polling booths should be given to Shri Suresh Malgadi, to compensate him for not being given the ticket to fight the elections this time.
Kapil also added on the sly that the job of preparing the voters’ list can be given to Shri Manish Talwari, another lawyer turned mimicry artist, who will do a clean job of including only those franchisees who are honest from head to toe and from toe to head.