Monday, 23rd October, 2017

Jockey and Aurangzeb must be awarded Bharat Ratna: Kejriwal

13, Aug 2014 By simplydimply

NEW DELHI- You can keep aloo out of samosa, Laloo out of Bihar, Rahul Gandhi away from well, Mahesh Bhatt away from itch etc. but you cannot keep Delhi’s biggest u-turn ‘Arvind Kejriwal’ out and away from news.

According to a legend, in Kejriwal’s previous life impressed by his incessant nautankis for media attention, the then Lokpal awarded a boon ‘always will be in news for your entire next life’.

Kejriwal
Kejriwal explaining his groundbreaking ideas

It seems the boon never fails to work.

Last evening Kejriwal dropped a bombshell when at a press meet he demanded Bharat Ratna for two most unexpected entities.

“I and my party demand Bharat Ratna for Jockey and late honorable Aurangzeb ji. Yes, haan ji, sir ji , we have valid reasons for our demand. No 1 Jockey, I promised to end the VIP culture but now I myself have all facilities of a VIP like bungalow, vehicle and security. But, Jockey for years now has made significant contributions in curtailing VIP culture. Once upon a time almost all of us were covered by VIP culture. Honestly speaking many of us have thrown out our vintage VIP for jockey. So nobody fights VIP culture0 like Jockey,” he said.

“No2 Aurangzeb ji, what a man, what a tax reformer! The man whose ‘zaziya’ tax collections were way above our modern day tax collections. A true secular tax collector to the core. Demolished countless temples because they were built on non-encroached public land. Looted temple wealth and built mosques from it, for setting examples of religious equality. He got cows slaughtered to ease traffic jams. Promoted minority welfare through persecution and execution of majority. Got the Taj Mahal construction corruption case investigated and sent his own guilty father to life imprisonment!” he added.

“What have we done to return favors of such great man only named a road after him. Shame on us, shame on our secular credentials. Now do we have more worthy candidates than these two. No absolutely not. Save secularism, country is under threat from communal people. We can fight hunger, poverty, economic stagnation, energy security later, what’s the hurry? Right now save secularism,” Kejriwal told reporters.

Right or left, disaster or laughter whatever he may be but it is truly impossible even for the mighty Israeli Army’s reputed Iron dome to stop ‘nonsense rockets’ shot by Kejriwal.