New Delhi. In a bid to permanently solve the problem of infiltration of Pakistani terrorists into Jammu & Kashmir, the Indian government has decided to relocate the state to some place far away from Pakistan.
Though there is no commitment from the government on the new location, rumours are rife that J&K is going to be a neighbour to one or more of the southern states. A reporter somehow got hold of a yet unofficial new map of India showing the new location of J&K.
In a cabinet meeting held before the parliament session today morning, it was decided to move the state in its entirety to some peaceful region of the country. The proposal was later tabled in both the houses of the parliament and was accepted with a thumping majority in both places.
A press conference was held later in the evening where the officials from the Home, Security and External Affairs ministries jointly addressed the media. One official said “The government has come up with this brilliant idea. I wonder why no one thought of this for the last sixty five years. All problems of the beautiful state of J&K will be now solved and terrorism will be a thing of the past.”
People of south India reacted very positively to this development. Asked for his opinion, a man from Karnataka said, “We are overwhelmed by this decision. I hope J&K will be located next to our state. We will now get a beautiful state as our neighbour. We can travel to Kashmir by bus and don’t have to take a flight. We can visit there often.”
However the response from the Delhiites was lukewarm. One of them posed the question, “Where do we go for holidays now? Two days will be spent on travelling itself”. A sitting MP who did not want to be named had his own problems. “With J&K going out of the list of hot topics, what do we discuss and fight about in the house? But anyway it is a good move. All the infiltrators will now be stuck in the state and will not be able to cross the border back to Pakistan. We can easily catch them now.”
The people of Jammu & Kashmir, who were never asked for opinion on anything, were happy when mediamen asked what they felt. A lady from the valley put on a big smile and said, “we are happy with any arrangement if terrorism is brought to an end. We just want to live peacefully. Also, I hope the new place will not be as cold. But I hope our rivers, mountains and tulips are not harmed”.
An army officer stationed on the border sighed a sigh of relief and said they would be needed less at the border now.