Monday, 23rd October, 2017

Jairam Ramesh to build flying toilets for birds

11, Feb 2013 By Anil Sharma

New Delhi: Jairam Ramesh, the 58 year-old Union Minister for Rural Development, today revealed that he is planning to build flying toilets for birds.

“Statistically speaking, almost 100% of all birds are relieving their innards  in open, which is unacceptable”,  said the Rural Development  minister.

“Birds pooping in open are far more dangerous than human pooping in open, just yesterday, I got violated when a bird pooped on my head without any warning, not only me, this happens with every Indian every day, this behavior is intolerable”, Mr. Ramesh went on to add.

“We have decided to build flying toilets to resolve the issue, all we need to do is to teach birds how to use these toilets, for that, we have asked for the expert Swami Agnivesh’s help as he seems to be the person who knows about shit more than anyone”, Jairam Ramesh told Faking News.

“This is going to be one big project, we are in talk with many companies like Kingfisher who are willing to  invest in this project. As crap being the only thing they can invest in now. The Central Government has approved the project as they see hopes for a big scam in it”, Mr. Ramesh added.

“First we thought of importing diapers from China for birds which seemed a better idea than this, but the “Needless restrictions” stopped us.  Also, Rahul Gandhi who himself is a victim of diaper troubles declined the idea of birds’ diapers”, Jairam Ramesh said with a sigh.

“As I always say that building toilets is the solution for every freaking problem, it can combat crimes like rapes, murders and robberies very easily. Not only this, we can resolve the issue of Ayodhya Ram Mandir easily if we build a toilet there instead of a Temple or a Mosque”, Ramesh told Faking News reporter.

“I know that our politicians heads are full of shit, I just don’t want to see that happening with their statues”, the Union Minister ended the interview.

Meanwhile “media people” are claiming that this project is Rahul Gandhi’s first step towards success.