Thursday, 14th December, 2017

Inspired by BCCI, Congress starts nationwide search for candidate named Sourav

16, Jun 2015 By The Satire Sadhu

It was just a fine Monday in the Indian politics, till our internal resources came out with this Khufiya Khabar. The News has just shaken the political leaders of India.

After defeat in Loksabha election 2014 , Congress leaders went in deep sorrow and sad feelings. They tried hard to identify the reasons behind the loss.And finally, after almost a year of mind storming, they have come up with real reason as well its solution. Congress spokesperson said that the solution will make congress win the next Lok Sabha election with flying colors.

Faking News’ Exclusive reporter interviewed Rahul Gandhi to know the reason and he said : “Till now , we did not have any Sourav in our core leading team. However, we have Rahul (Gandhi) and Sachin (Pilot). If you look at the history of India, you will see that , India cricket was at its pick of fame and victories, when trio of Sachin-Sourav and Rahul were playing. The same remarkable height has never been achieved before or after since they stopped playing.”

Rahul Gandhi
Rahul Gandhi’s happy relief expression after finding out secret reason for congress’s future victory

He further added that “When Sourav Ganguly was the captain of Indian cricket team, we established many records and we were a wonderful team. Not sure why Indian National Congress missed out in this point but recent decision of BCCI hiring this trio is in India’s cricket advisory board ;finally clicked us with this idea. Be it identified earlier, we would had a person named Sourav in our core team ,and we would have never lost the election so badly.”

While talking with Rahul, our reporter was able to identify the clear grief on his face of not identifying the real reason for congress’s defeat previously. But the fact made him happy that , immediately after trio made in the Indian Cricket’s advisory Board,  India overpowered Bangladesh in ‘One match Test Series’.

Congress’s General Secretary Mr DigVijaySingh, who has dig the real the reason for congress’s future Vijays said that, “There is no chance Modi can win the next election. We won’t have Rahul as candidate for PM in next election. It will be Rahul, Sachin and Sourav trio leading congress. Mostly as happened to be in Indian team, Sourav will be leading the next election.”

He also said, “As Sachin Tendulkar in Indian Cricket team was the youngest cricketer when he joined; similarly Sachin Pilot was the youngest MP in Indian political history. And as Rahul Drawid stopped all balls behind the-wall, Rahul Gandhi also stopped all the votes behind the-wall. Indeed a great similarity we have found out ! The only thing left behind is to introduce Sourav, and as Sourav Ganguly was lefty there is very high probability that our candidate may be from left-wing.”

Men named Sourav raising their hands with joy
Men named Sourav showing congress symbol with joy

On the other side, there is a lot of buzz about who the Sourav is. On questioned he added, “See, we haven’t yet identified Sourav. However, we have started nationwide search for congress members named Sourav. but we haven’t find any suitable dedicated candidate yet.” (On this the internal reports say that , a couple of candidates named Sourav were found , but they were not promoted further as they were from Gujarat and had their last name as Modi) He further added, if we don’t find any suitable candidate within India, we may look for in the other country like Italy.

Meanwhile, there is a wave of joy spread in India among common people. Many Aam Adami’s named Sourav are getting themselves registered to be a congress member. And there is a severe joy among UPA members as congress’s next election victory is sure shot; once Sourav has been picked up and identified to work in Congress’s core team for next election.

Note : This article is complete imagination and has been written as satire and to generate humor and does not intentionally point to any person or organization or anything.