Wednesday, 25th April, 2018


25, Oct 2014 By alterego

The national spokesperson for the Indian National Congress (INC), Sanjay Jha, retorted at the Bharatiya Janata Party’s (BJP) allegations that the Congress leaders did not meet PM in J&K as they are not concerned about people. Instead he alleged the paid media had covered only Narendra Modi’s (NaMo) J&K and the Siachen trip and purposefully avoided the coverage of the proceedings at the INC camp. While BilawalBhutto (BiBu), the kindred soul of Rahul Gandhi (RaGa), was busy celebrating Diwali along with the Hindus in Pakistan, Shashi Tharoor was busy trying to find some reporters to explain how well BiBu has caught upon the Congress’ and RaGa’s policies and tactics of the minority appeasement. But, as all the veteran reporters were with Modi, Tharoor could find only novice reporters, most of whom were unable to fully grasp Tharoor’s English; they could only report one of Tharoor’s assertion that with this minority Diwali act, BiBu has now fully qualified for the title of “RaGa of Pakistan”.

Unconfirmed sources told that as all of NaMo’s  steps are shooting with a BrahMos’ accurcy, Congress too now isn’t ruling out the possibility of a Congress Mukt Bharath. In a bid to safeguard itself, Congress is now coming out with multi-pronged strategy. As Gandhiji fought for the freedom of a combined India, Congress is now planning to launch Pakistan National Congress (PNC). This has prompted lot of celebrations within, as Modi wave can never affect PNC. Talks are also rumored to have begun between Pakistan People’s Party (PPP) and the yet to be launched PNC. In the backdrop of the Bofors experience, PNC has put forth a strong demand for the Defense ministry to Congress.

Now it was BJP’s turn to deny any possible RaGa-BiBu wave in Pakistan. Though an apparent voluntary exit of Congress is bringing some smiles in BJP, Rastriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) is pressurizing them to counter PNC too; this was attributed ot the RSS’s belief in an Akhand Bharat. While, none of of the BJP leaders were ready to respond to our reporter’s questions, we come to know from our sources that Subramanian Swamy, head of the dirty tricks cell of the BJP has already begun working to dub BiBu as the Buddhu II. In in interesting development, smiles due to a possible Congress exit are only in the lower rungs of BJP cadre, this, at the moment being attributed to the fact that all the senior leader of BJP are acutely aware of the fact that they just dubbed all of RaGa’s contributions in NaMo’s electoral victory as the Modi wave. This exit could potentially wipe out the Modi wave.

The exit of INC and the formation of PNC is being expected to be made jointly by BiBu and RaGa, who are expected to visit the Golden Shrine for the upcoming Guru Nanak Jayathi. Plans are also being made for two workshops; in the first RaGa and BiBu would together counsel the ten out the seven (or seven out of ten) drug addicts of Punjab. Sardarji jokes, whose popularity was once unparalleled have of late have succumbed to the Rajikanth, Alia Bhatt and of course RaGa and BiBu jokes! With a subtle motive to connect with the people, INC is planning for the second workshop to revive the legacy of the Sardarji jokes. RaGa and BiBu are expected to dress as Sardaras and explain the Sardars about a state of mind called humor. Some leaked reports say that the humor isn’t everywhere but is actually in the turbans; and blue turban symbolizes the humorous elites. Could this be the reason for the political scenario to have become so serious and workaholic in India? However, confusions are rife on the intentions of workshops in India as INC is supposedly winding up. Adding to the confusion, from an unexpected end, Derek O’Brien of the the Trinamool Congress (TMC) lauded RaGa’s plans to respect the Sikh headgear in a stark contrast to NaMo’s respect towards Muslim headgear.

Both NaMo and Arvind Kejriwal have called for a high level meetings; after all, a BJP that fared poorly in Punjab is now pushed into confusions on INC’s intentions at the Golden Shrine; and for Aam Aadmi Party (AAP), Punjab is the remaining citadel. More troubles are actually on way for AAP, as their senior leader Prashant Bhushan while speaking to the press said that Punjab was actually a part of Khalistan and not India, and in fact he had a map of India in his backdrop with neither J&K nor Punjab! However, Arvind Kejriwal has clarified that Prashant Bhushan’s statements were personal and not AAP’s while Ashutosh tweeted that the map was so printed by a conspiracy hatched by the BJP. Some sources within BJP, who didn’t want to be named told that the conjoined motive of INC and AAP was to declare Punjab as Khalistan and initiate a Khalistan National Congress (KNC) also, thereby restoring a good chunk of INC.

Though this Diwali complications have raised serious security concerns all over the globe, netizens all over, are anticipating for it, as all the netizens are seriously disappointed due to lack of excitement in the virtual world as soon as the acche din begun!