Thursday, 22nd March, 2018

In a rare political masterstroke INC declares Arnab as prime ministerial candidate

31, Dec 2013 By arinjoy

Ending months of speculation and unending deliberation within itself, the Congress General Working Committee in a rare press conference held @ 9 pm yesterday declared none other than Arnab Goswami,The Times-Now frontman as their prime ministerial candidate for the upcoming 2014 elections.

Undernoting the significance of that time, precisely at which Arnab hits out at the nation solving problems from politics to paparazzi, Congress General Secretary Rahul Gandhi said that he has heard the call from within just like her mother years back and hailed Arnab as the true son of India and the best person to lead the party.

Senior congress leaders and party workers have heaved a sigh of relief as they no longer have to explain what their prime minister really wanted to say as Arnab will leave nothing to imagination.But veteran congress spokesperson like Shashi tharoor, Mani Shankar Ayer and Jayanti Nataranjan have reportedly gone to a depression fearing that their services will no longer be required.

The stock market sent strong signals with the stocks of paper mills hitting an all time high on the expectation of unprecedented government demand.But advertisers of leading news channels went into a huddle late midnight preparing strategies to incorporate AD s deceptively within hours of monologue that will be a feature of Indian politico soon.

TIMES-NOW,Arnab s employer also expressed their gratitude to INC in general and Rahul Gandhi in particular for solving their biggest HR challenge i.e. the exodus of times now people to other channels.In a rare gesture TIMES-NOW authority has decided to scrap the programme until they develop a ARNAB like talent.

South Asian peace study organisation, a think tank for political studies in S.E, Asia in their latest press release said” We believe that this selection can give a positive boost for the peace process in the subcontinent.With Arnab at the helm Pakistani Army can never think of an invasion against India.Senior Pakistani generals are summarily relieved from their field duties and are told to enroll in personality development classes in order to prepare themselves from any Arnab-outrage in the near future.”

The Man of the moment  Arnab Goswami though remained unavailable for comment. Sources close to him say that in a special show tonight he will listen to opinions from aam-aadmi regarding his nomination.And he promised that for an entire session of newshour, nothing but opinions of the Indian voters will be heard.Though many saw the shadow of Arvind Kejriwal in his gesture,Detractors  said that an emotional Arnab has cried his hearts out hearing the news and developed a sore throat in the process.