Wednesday, 25th April, 2018

If politicians were cricketers, what would their respective autobiographies say – second edition

08, Nov 2014 By RT

Mumbai: On the occasion of release of Sachin’s book, Faking News once again asked various politicians for their viewpoint on ‘Playing it my way’, after asking earlier. Here are the responses:

Modi answering in style

Narendra Modi: I have promised a century in every match. Also, I have promised to score big in foreign pitches and bring thousands of runs to India. I still remember when the entire nation booed, when the first scorecard was released that reflected only 3 inconsequential runs against my promise of big hundreds. I now find, playing it whatever way is tough, I tell you. Also, I am often criticized I am trying to play the role of all 11 players, keeping them in non-striker’s end as much as possible.

LK Advani: I have asked for captaincy. They said I was too old. I have asked to be a coach. They said I am an Indian and not a foreigner. Finally, they have asked me to play the role of, what was that again?

Suresh Kalmadi: I thought commonwealth is common for all and took my share to increase my own wealth. It is games; so, I just played a little; what’s wrong in that; as I said it is commonwealth, after all.

Dr. Manmohan Singh: When I hit sixes, it reflected in someone else’s scorecard. When other players fell flat on the field, and picked up dirt all over their face, they have tried to blame me as well, as I was the captain, silent or not. Throughout my cricket life, I had this strange feeling that there was someone holding me back, restricting my swing whenever I had a good shot.

Rahul Gandhi: Not just for run out, even when I got clean bowled or caught or found plumb lbw, other players volunteered to take the blame. We called it being loyal; but the opposition teams always cried foul.

Arvind Kejriwal: I always wanted to be a modern day cricketer. Very few know, unless they read this autobiography, that I was called the Wall, during my playing days. Since, I was often blamed trying to take someone else’s limelight, to promote my own publicity, have strictly instructed the team not use the term Wall, as it was being used by someone by the name Rahul.

Sonia Gandhi: All my life, I just wanted one player to play well and come good. Mind you all, contrary to the common belief in India, he is actually a good player; just not suitable for Indian playing conditions. It is a battlefield out there; Unfortunately, not suitable for so-called princes.