Mumbai: In a corporate strategy that has amazed the marketing pundits, a leading corporate hospital has announced massive discounts for politicians on pre-election fitness check up.
Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge Hospital spokesperson Dr. Mohit Garg said, “Similar to the pre-operative fitness by the anesthetist and cardiologist, with the media hype for the upcoming 2014 election, our core committee decided that it would be in the best financial interest of the hospital and also the country if we could provide fitness check up for our aged, retarded politicians at a cheap price.”
Senior Congress leader Digvijay Singh who was roped in as the brand ambassador for his persistent, perennial nonsensical remarks and comments making him the ideal candidate for a check up green flagged the pilot project with his own ophthalmic examination after he complained of seeing most women as ‘tunch maal’.
“There were allegations by a section of the media that I suffer from a disease called Digvijay Singh. People ridiculed me for my statements often saying that they were written by Kapil Sibbal, but when I come out clean after my fitness check up, all will know that my talent is truly God gifted. I will strongly recommend this hospital to party high command and Rahul baba too”, he said.
Senior BJP leader L.K.Advani who was second in queue opted for Electromyography-Nerve conduction study and signed up for the sports medicine department membership saying he was still in the race for the 2014 Prime Minister candidature.
With the news spreading fast and Shiv Sena babus too flocking for the discounted fitness check up, our ‘Gupt Samwadata’ Tushar Malwade asked party supremo Uddhav Thackeray on how he planned to settle the hospital bill. “We have saved just about enough money allotted by BMC for filling the potholes on Mumbai Roads,” he replied.