Sunday, 25th June, 2017

"Hang me if I am guilty" claims Modi, then hires Ajmal Kasab's lawyer just to be safe

17, Apr 2014 By vettiguy

A defiant Narendra Modi today said in an interview that he should be hanged if he was found guilty in his handling of the 2002 Gujrat riots, before hiring Ajmal Kasab’s lawyer to play it safe.

Justifying his decision, Modi explained, “If this lawyer can keep a terrorist like Ajmal Kasab from being hung for almost 5 years given what he did brazenly in front of so many eye-witnesses, I am confident he can keep me alive till I am at least 150.”

Narendra Modi
“Ek baar fansi de hi do mujhe”

His lawyer agreed, bragging, “Mr.Modi is being very conservative. Its already been 12 years since Gujrat. And with the SIT report that has cleared him, I think I can I can keep him alive far longer than most Biblical characters.”

The lawyer also confirmed that he is extremely busy at the moment trying to keep his current client Yuvraj Singh from being hung for costing India the T20 World Cup.

Modi, who initially demanded that he be executed if there was even “an iota of evidence” found against him, quickly moved to revise it to “overwhelming evidence” after a member of his staff explained the meaning of the word iota to him.

Congress President Sonia Gandhi was understandably quick to jump on the opportunity to get rid of  her arch-rival. “If not for the 2002 riots, any sane person will agree that Modi deserves to be publicly hung just for his puppy analogy,” she argued, before adding “And lets put a topi on him while we are doing it”.

Rahul Gandhi was not available for comment as he was busy investigating if Barista franchises across the country were indeed operating on the basis of a “coffee model”.