Monday, 19th March, 2018

Hamid Ansari scraps Rajya Sabha sessions, will henceforth conduct uproar-proof 1-on-1 meetings with RS members

25, Jul 2015 By Beer & Biryani

New Delhi: In what is being regarded as the most sensible decision ever taken by the Indian administration, the speaker of Rajya Sabha Mr. Hamid Ansari has reportedly decided to scrap RS sessions and henceforth, conduct one-on-one meetings with members to avoid the pandemonium that is currently wasting everyone’s precious time.

“Hamid Ansari looking forward to 1×1 meetings.”

Speaking to Faking News reporters, Mr. Ansari said, “One of the worst things about our country is the disrespect we show to others while they’re speaking. On one hand, we are a culture that boasts of the greeting ‘Namaste‘ meaning ‘I bow to the God inside of you’, while on the other, we nullify the speaker’s voice by shouting louder and louder. I have tried many methods but failed miserably.”

“One-on-one meetings have proved to be productive in the corporate sector. Irrespective of the positive or negative results, there is at-least some sort of action after the meetings. Along these lines, I’m planning 245 one-on-one sessions in the coming days so all RS members are covered. I’ll carefully evaluate what each member says, if they’re really making any sense. Based on these two hundred and forty five views, I’ll reach a final consensus on pending bills.”

Some positive things about these meetings are that they cannot be adjourned and at the same time, chances of destroying infrastructure like benches, microphones etc. will be quite less.

According to sources, Mr. Ansari has even tried hanging the “Keep Calm” memes on Rajya Sabha walls but it didn’t prove to be useful. Apparently, it was destroyed in a BJP-Opposition fight while members were leaving the premises.