New Delhi. With the first day three days of the monsoon session being a complete washout, with no scheduled bills being tabled or any productive discussion on crucial national issues, in an apparent bid to ensure that the session is not a complete washout, the central government is planning to invite Guinness Book officials in a bid to achieve the record for being the most unproductive elected parliament in the world.
With the monsoon, suffering from a deficit of 7% due to the El Nino effect, through this initiative the government hopes to give the Indian people a reason to cheer and make them feel pride in India’s long tradition of protesting.
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, one cabinet minister replied that with the dazzle of the Modi wave on the decline, through this measure they hope, it will again lead him to reach his pre-election popularity levels through the positive publicity garnered.
Lalit Modi too, in his trademark opportunistic style is planning to capitalize on the situation and bid for the record of the person who has jeopardized the careers of the most politicians leaving the likes of Quattrochi and A Raja far behind in the dust.
However, in the true spirit of Indian democracy this development has not been received with the same enthusiasm by all political groups. A congress loyalist said that the Modi government like it had done with the Mangalayaan program was taking undue credit for the hard work done by others. The actual credit according to him goes to the congress politicians who due to their ingenuity and creativity were successful in coming with new and innovative scams in a variety of established and emerging sectors for the past 60 years when it was in power.
Their actions according to him, were suitably complemented by the various foot in mouth statements made by its prized leaders like Digvijay Singh, ex-home minister Sushil Kumar Shinde and countless others which contributed to the bulk of these astronomical number of days and it was only fair that their dear Rahul Baba who showed the path with his Jupiter escape velocity and many other such statements be given the required credit, for successfully leading them from the front.
With neither the government or the opposition looking to arrive at a consensus, the following days in the parliament are expected to grow more stormy, with both sides planning to launch a series of protests and counter-protests on the issue about who deserves the greater credit. This is further expected to increase the tally of unproductive days and help India in establishing a world record that other nations will find difficult to break.