Tuesday, 12th December, 2017

Government introduces RTS (Right to Snoop) bill in the Loksabha

18, Mar 2015 By escapevelocity

New Delhi: The ruling government of India has decided to add a new feather to an already complicated democracy! The government introduced Right to Snoop Bill today in the Lok Sabha and got it passed without any disruption whatsoever. Shocked news reporters thronged outside the Parliament house to get answers for their respective #Newshour shows. The opposition walked out of the house as a standard practice for all the bills introduced.

When asked, the opposition leader stated that, like every other bill this one too was very difficult to comprehend and the ruling party bull dozed its way. “We didn’t want to waste our time and energy opposing the bill as we know that it can be stopped in the upper house. Hence we walked out”, said the spokesperson.

The recent Victim of Snooping, Rahul gandhi
The recent Victim of Snooping, Rahul gandhi

RTI activists across the country (who have been hiding ever since RTI bill came into being) condemned the step. “Why to snoop someone when we can file an RTI application and create news? This dilutes our right and create competition for us! We will protest against this bill”, said an RTI activist who wanted to be named but didn’t want to be named. Anarchists around the world and the country cheered the move and dismantled their Air conditioners.

The ruling government is elated at the way the bill got the majority. ” We are the most inclusive government ever. We have authorized every citizen to snoop on one another just like our government has done in Gujarat and Rahul Baba’s case. This country needs to focus on snooping, only then people will forget trivial matters like governance, corruption and progress” said the spokesperson. When asked about how the government is planning to pass the bill in the upper house, the spokesperson said that the government would create a rumour that Rahul Baba returned from his vacation and is not being let into the parliament premises which would see a hurried walk out from opposition and the media. Also, internal sources say there might be a power cut in parliament during the session.

The governments strategists think that the campaign for 2019 elections would be centered on “RTS” and “Spy empowerment” like the previous government’s RTI and Women empowerment.

Meanwhile regular newsmakers and rock stars like Sanjay Jha and (some random aam aadmi) were caught snooping into questions that Arnab wants the nation to ask.