Friday, 27th April, 2018

Government bans politicians from attending Parliament, heralds Tendulkar as inspiration

06, Aug 2014 By mpsharmaauthor

New Delhi. As the nation raises its eyebrows at the near zero attendance rate of ex-celebrity politicians at Parliament, the Government has gone one step further and made it illegal for any politician to enter Parliament premises from hereinafter.

Waste of time.

Lauding India-proclaimed demigod Tendulkar, and yesteryear actress Rekha for the move, the Indian Government has decided that it is an unnecessary expenditure of the few tax payers’ money to require a defined attendance rate at Parliamentary events.

“I sincerely hope that the people of India will understand the lengths the country goes for them,” a Parliament spokesman told Faking News Journalists at a conference held in the Capital yesterday. “By stopping politicians from attending viable official meetings, we are assisting the country”.

Probed by journalists to explain further, the spokesman and his colleagues proceeded to clarify how India is going to be better off.

“Firstly, our court proceedings will be expedited,” Mr Godbole, a Parliament representative explained. “So many of our politicians are involved in criminal cases. Now at least they can attend court rather than citing important official duties to reschedule appearances”.

“Furthermore,” Ms. Khan, Mr Godbole’s colleague continued. “Our bodyguards have also been given holidays and security guards are no longer required to guard Parliament venues anymore, as no one seems to want to assassinate anyone any longer.”

The people of India, and in particular popular Times Now TV anchor, Arnab Goswami have welcomed the move stating that India will now perhaps, finally be run with some semblance.

“I sincerely believe that our Government could not have made a better move”, one bystander outside the Press Conference said. “Now that politicians will no longer be running the show, maybe promises will actually be kept!”