Wednesday, 26th July, 2017

Government to ban divorce following confusion over gold

03, Dec 2016 By Karthik Subramanian

New Delhi. Government is considering banning divorces temporarily. A Bill to the effect could be passed in the Parliament any time now. The move is the latest from the Ministry of Finance that clearly knows what it is doing. It comes after a considerate reading of a petition filed by the NGO Movement for Unity among Divorcees.

"Forget about triple Talaq, we are putting single Talaq on hold"
“Forget about triple Talaq, we are putting single Talaq on hold”

There has been some confusion over how much gold a divorcee can hold without arousing the suspicions of the IT Department. The Ministry of Finance had recently cited a 1995 law that even if the gold does not match one’s known income, “Jewelry and ornaments to the extent of 500 gm for married lady, 250 gm for unmarried lady and 100 gm for male member will not be seized.”

The rule is ambiguous over divorced people. “Till such a time it is only fair that people adjust and co-operate with this temporary ban,” an highly informed and moderately confused Minister said. “After all, it is the least one can do. Let us not forget there are people in the army guarding our borders who stay away from their spouse for several months at a stretch. Whey they can stay away, why can’t people stay together till we figure what the heck to do with this Demonetisation thing.”

Meanwhile, reports have started coming from different parts of the country of disgruntled women beating up their husbands. They are upset that they don’t even have 250 grams of gold to show for all their years of marriage.