Tuesday, 26th September, 2017

FTP, the new AI increased Rahul Gandhi's Intelligence

14, Sep 2017 By Kannan

And, the secret is out. There was a lot of frenzy about the supposed talk by Rahul Gandhi on ‘Artificial Intelligence’ addressing IT professionals. Though later Congress clarified that the interaction of Rahul Gandhi with members of Silicon Valley is only to get ideas about using AI to further India’s socialist schemes, the way Rahul Gandhi spoke at Berkeley and handled the interview was a bit different from his usual way of talking and responding.

While Congress members were celebrating the new version of Rahul Gandhi (V3.4.X.5) in exposing Narendra Modi, Elon Musk seems to dampen the new lit fire of enthusiasm in the Grand Old Party of India. In a press release, Tesla stated that a new chip they developed to augment intelligence in Robots was in fact played a major role in Rahul Gandhi becoming an intelligent guy overnight.

Rahul Gandhi in full swing after increased IQ
Rahul Gandhi in full swing after increased IQ

The Press Release by Tesla:

For the last two years, Tesla is working in collaboration with Google, Microsoft and Apple. As the fears about the takeover by Robots have grown, one young scientist from Jhumri Telaiya, India suggested the research may be redirected to increase ‘Human Intelligence’ through artificial means. The new system is named FTP, whose full form is ‘Fool the People’. The backbone of FTP was SIRI, the virtual assistant made by Apple. This was coupled with the ‘Auto-Pilot’ software of Tesla. The knowledge base was provided by Google, using their extensive search engines. All these were however, integrated using the “Gates 1.0”, the secret operating system by MS named after its founder.

Two small chips were inserted into the ears of the person that would create magnetic waves to stimulate the human brain to receive signals. These signals also are magnetic in nature and are similar to the natural waves from the earth and atmosphere that instigate the ‘instinct’ in all living beings. It is through these signals that many animals sense earthquakes, storms and tsunamis.

In a way, FTP is going back to nature in many ways. Except the database, all other components of it truly resemble the sensing organs of living beings. We profoundly thank the team of Rahul Gandhi, who volunteered to have a live practical demonstration of FTP’s capabilities. Though, there were many in-house experiments conducted successfully in laboratories, the new conglomerate of GMAT wanted some public figure to demonstrate the latest technology.

Once the new system is ready, even primary schooling would not be required. And, the response of Rahul Gandhi at Berkeley had proved the effectiveness of FTP. In fact, before the live programme at Berkeley with students, a rehearsal was conducted at Google’s headquarters by Rahul Gandhi that gave him so much confidence, he started believing in himself. His declaration of his candidature for the post of Prime Minister of India is the direct result of the rehearsal.

However, there was a glitch in the entire episode, wherein Rahul Gandhi had stated that ‘dynasty’ runs even in Infosys. We had investigated the matter and traced it to a bug inserted by an outsourcing team that is still faithful to Sikka, former CEO of Infosys. The bug was immediately removed, as it was inserted on a purpose and a request is sent to Infosys to replace the team with ‘unbiased’ employees.