Friday, 20th April, 2018

Frustrated Modi considering moratorium on IRCTC to book his own tatkal ticket to Gujarat for Diwali

21, Oct 2014 By gugu

Shocking as this may sound, sources from inside the PMO have told faking news that the Prime minister was considering imposing a moratorium on IRCTC activities to increase his chances of booking a tatkal ticket for Ahmedabad this Diwali.

This is Mr. Modi’s first Diwali away from home and he really misses home-cooked food.

Modi after wasting 2 hours on IRCTC.

To make matters worse as we know, Anandiben Patel and her cabinet members have been sending pictures of homemade Dhoklas and Fafdas to him on WhatsApp.

The insider tells us how Mr. Modi has been practicing tatkal booking from 10-11 am everyday to be battle-ready for the big day.

Slowing reflexes and frequent power cuts in Delhi have hampered his preparations.

Sources tell us former US president George W Bush, known for his reflexive abilities of dodging shoes being hurled at him is to be being flown to the capital to train the Prime minister.

Modi has also been advised by his principal secretary to practice playing counter-strike every day.

“This will not only improve his mouse handling skills but will also improve his aim on the “submit” and “make payment” buttons on IRCTC,” says another insider.

PM Modi is also known to have been quite excited about buying an inverter generator from Flipkart on the big billion day to avoid a power failure on D-day. A dream which crashed along with Flipkart’s servers that day.

“These roadblocks along with growing internet jokes on IRCTC’s servers are mounting serious pressure on the PM giving him performance anxiety. This is the reason he considered imposing a moratorium.

“I will fully support the moratorium and will show my support by not going home this Diwali,” says die-hard Modi fan Jignes Patel from Ahmedabad who happens to work in Ahmedabad, stays in Ahmedabad and is also a native of Ahmedabad.

“If eventually Narendra bhai has to travel without a ticket, I would suggest that he doesn’t hide inside toilets or the under-side of seats. TTs these days have become really smart and check such places for rogues. He should instead travel on the roof of the train. TTs don’t bother with that.”

It seems Modi will have to go it alone since key travel strategist Amit Shah is busy with Maharashtra and Haryana these days.

As good wishes come pouring in from all corners of the world, we await with bated breath to witness Modi take up his biggest challenge yet.