Friday, 20th April, 2018

Food Security Bill for the dogs residing near Temples

28, Apr 2014 By varunksharma

New Delhi. Today, in a landmark decision by Govt of India, long pending Food Security Bill for the dogs residing near temples has been passed. With this bill now govt has ensured that all the dogs residing near temples getting minimum 6 roties, 100 gram of halwa and 2 laddus.

While tabling the bill, in a long speech Minister of Social Justice for Animals DigHaar Singh said, ” We have got a survey done, which is showing the miserable condition of vegetarian, Temple corner dogs. This is happening due to people being more and more non-vegetarians and also bhakts not serving their share to dogs outside gates. At the same time our surveys show, chicken corner dogs get to eat more than 200 gm of chicken bones and 3-4 rumaali roties everyday and sometimes more depending on number of punjabi families visiting the chicken corner. So for equality and survival, we have passed this bill.” Minister had tears in his eyes while ending his speech.

Happy with the decision, President of Temple Corner dogs survival committee, Lattu, said, “At-last our long fight of 1 hour and 20 minutes with 20 minutes of tea break has come to a fruitful conclusion. Now our Temple corner dogs will be able to survive and have female friends too. Nowadays they are all attracted to those muscular Chicken corner dogs only.”

Fat Chicken corner dog.
Fat Chicken corner dog.

“We were demanding a bowl of Pineapple Raita also from govt. Too much of food will lead to digestion problem now and Curd raita would have helped. But govt doesn’t understand that. It has happened due to Chicken corner dogs having a lot of influence on Govt. Minister’s bitch has also been spotted many times dating  these Chicken corner dogs and she herself is Non-veg,” said, another temple corner dog, Lazy, while proudly claiming his forefathers to be freedom fighters and were with Gandhi Ji during Dandi Yatra.

When contacted, Hulk, a Chicken corner dog, said, ” What does govt think? Have we got these chicken corner places in gifts. No, we have fought for this. I can show you my 10 medical reports where i have got my bones broken by drunk en. And these temple corner dogs, they are lying, they have many festivals like Navratra, Shivratri etc where they get to eat more than us. Do we have such chicken festivals? No. We have a tough life.”  Then he Finished his chicken bones, burped and slept.

Another group of Chicken corner dogs, who were here in a mall to buy a tread-mill,  said, “factually speaking in this year’s tug of war competition between Chicken corner dogs and Temple corner dogs. These temple corners dogs survived for record 3 seconds. which is highest in last 10 years. Who says they are pitiable.”

“And who will compensate us for our all evening shifts while temple corner dogs have all mornings. This is injustice,” asked another, strengthening their stand.

There have been mixed reactions on this bill from two sides but Temple corner dogs unions are very happy and have called for a party this night in a club near Gurgaon Sahara mall with free entry and drinks to female friends of chicken corner dogs. However they were silent on the question of funds.