Friday, 20th April, 2018

Five star hotels to be turned into vegetable market complexes

31, Aug 2014 By abhishekkunal

After facing constant attacks for it’s “forward looking approach” to revive the economy, Modi Government has finally admitted that they had ignored poor in all it’s plans and initiatives.

Just a few days back, in a conversation with MyFakingNews correspondent, a government official on the condition of anonymity had gone as far as to say that, “this government didn’t actually know if India has a poor population, so it’s not their fault at all”. In a press conference held last evening, the spokesperson of BJP was seen apologetic for their prolonged ignorance about the presence of poor in India.

Narendra Modi
“Mitron, achhe din aa rahe hain”

Government is planning to invoke a series of reforms to fix what had gone wrong earlier. The first significant reform which is being said to eradicate almost half of the poverty is scrapping of “Statue of Unity” project. This project not just uses billions of hard earned money of poor, but also can make them poorer further. On being asked to elaborate, the tourism and the railway ministry in a joint statement said that, “To see the statue, people will have to spend more in increased rail fare, which will make the them poorer.”

The spokesperson of ministry for urban development told that, they won’t allow new five star hotels to be built, and the existing ones will be leased by government for vegetable market complex. The rent hence earned will be spent back in subsidized tomato, onion and other money eroding commodities. The hotel owners refusing to abide will be prosecuted under different laws for “Anti-Poor Activity”, and what not, the building will also be sold out to slum dwellers’ at a highly subsidized rate of Rs. 1 per square feet for developing a cooperative society.

Fearing similar reforms, restaurant owners in Mumbai have offered to discontinue all items except Vada Pao, Roti and Daal in the menus. On asked, they said, now they duly understand that in a country where a large population lives under below poverty line, it’s completely unethical to encourage the other lot to eat tastier food. While in New Delhi, gossip corner was abuzz immediately after Vijay Mallya from Kingfisher Airlines offered to donate all his aircrafts to DTC. After removing the wings, these aircrafts will be used as free shuttles from New Delhi Railway Station to different parts of the city. Most people were astonished yet appreciative of Vijay Mallya’s empathy with the poor of Delhi who were not able to purchase highly priced DTC tickets.

Jubilant by the positive response in media and intelligentsia, the Modi government has issued a two hours ultimatum to all ministries to submit their plans for bold reforms which will be inclusive of all (which means “The Poor”). This short ultimatum was being seen as a move to placate all cynics and heartbroken Modi fans who patiently waited for an entire month before they had no option left but to criticize Mr. PM for his inability to turnaround the economy and to fulfill the promises of the election manifesto.