Monday, 19th February, 2018

First Wagon-R, then Logo, now the Bacteria responsible for Kejriwal’s cough demands his powers back from AAP

13, Apr 2015 By GhasPhoosDoctor

New Delhi: The continuous chain of ‘mera vo samaan lauta do’ events for AAP, had an interesting addition today. This time, its not a disgruntled supporter, not a former loyalist, and not even a human being! It is the Bacteria, who caused Kejriwal’s famous khaansi, demands his special powers back.

In a secret confession of its own kind, the bacteria Kameenium Khaansius-49 a.k.a. KK-49 claimed that he was a critical success factor for AAP’s sweep in Delhi elections, and just like Yogu and PB, he has been ousted ‘peechhe laat maar ke’ during Arvind’s naturopathy treatment.

AAP leaders.

“I can inject special powers of constant coughing, especially during TV interviews where my carrier has to buy time while facing any tough questions. I had installed a hi-speed broadband connection between Arvind’s throat and his brain for quicker response time which resulted in well-timed coughing. The rules were simple, like, when tough questions were asked: 4+ coughs, when others in the panel speak: start the ‘background music’ coughing..and so on..#KKforAK was my motto”, KK-49 told Faking News, constantly dripping a greenish-yellow pulpy greasy liquid from his mouth.

On being asked about his other contributions to AAP’s win, KK-49 said, “Do you realise the extent of public sympathy received from those coughs? Almost every Delhi resident is a chronic cougher, thanks to the awesome air quality (which, btw, makes it easy for us to breed). And AK’s khaansi instilled that feeling of ‘BC, he is just one of us!’, among the Delhi aam junta. लोगों को लगा कि ये तो हमारी ‘खंसोड़’ जाति का है, वोट तो इसी को देंगे .”

“Now when AK doesn’t need my powers, he got rid of them and has preserved them in that Bangalore Naturopathy hospital, which is guarded by some लट्ठ-मार  Jatts from Gurgaon. After all, He would need them after 5 years. provided AAP continues to exist and is not acquired by BARC for Uranium replacement..hee ha ha ha…”, yelled KK-49, before making his way to the nearest municipality water tank which supplies water to Delhi CM’s residence.

Bacteria KK-49’s demands were not well received by AAP’s Ashutosh, who tweeted, “I highly condom the demands by Cageriwall’s Back Tear. Po#s.”

Commenting on AAP’s strategy for handling the increasing demand of recalls, Dr Kumar Vishwas said, “अब Internal Survey करने वाला तो रहा नहीं. But, we are planning to put a banner on our website: DISCLAIMER: डोनेट किया गया चंदा और लात मार के खदेड़ा गया बंदा – कभी वापस नही होगा’. Other option is to launch a ‘Recall Donation’ feature on our website to streamline the whole recall process. बाकी तो आपको पता ही है, अंतिम निर्णय अरविंद भाई का ही होगा ”, Mr Vishwas chuckled, constantly checking the ‘hearts and kisses’ messages received on Whatsapp (you know from whom).

Meanwhile, Internet Bindu Sagarika is reportedly obsessed with the 50 Shades of Green of Kameenium Khaansius-49 bacteria and Rajdeep has already approached KK-49 to launch his book. If reports are to be believed, Rahul Gandhi was spotted in Bangalore. Can we guess he was searching for ‘special powers’ to make his confident come back?