Wednesday, 18th October, 2017

Digvijay Singh clears Tomar, suspects a three-dimensional conspiracy involving "BJP-RSS-Photoshop"

12, Jun 2015 By Beer & Biryani

New Delhi: In an interesting statement, Congress party senior Digvijay Singh has blamed the popular image editing software Adobe Photoshop for the fake degrees people create and demanded a ban on such software.

“Digvijay wearing 3D goggles to see through the conspiracy better.”

Faking News reporters became uncontrollably curious after hearing this and immediately reached Digvijay’s residence to get a detailed explanation.

“The prime reason behind people obtaining fake degrees is their access to software with capabilities that can be utilized for creating fake documents. Forget Tomar, I myself am a living proof of that. The fake burkha bills I had once generated after a BJP election rally were actually the products of Photoshop aided by a color printer. One cannot blame the user when the interface itself allows you to do that”, said Digvijay as the level of sensation was rising exponentially with every statement he was making.

He also blamed the Centre for its anti-skills in hiding illegal matters and being megalomaniac.

“Though we had used Photoshop in the past, we never allowed any of our unlawful activities to unfold and become public. BJP doesn’t have the guts to replicate what we did without getting caught. An unfolded scam like Tomar’s speaks volumes of their inability to hide malafide intentions and activities.”

As always, Digivijay left no stone unturned in condemning RSS, his favorite blame in the blame-game.

“Adobe’s logo is saffron in color so we cannot rule out RSS involvement in fake degree racket. It could also be a conspiracy to perform Ghar Wapsi by issuing digitally watermarked certificates.”

Sources say, Singh is being showered with perjury offers from the criminal fraternity owing to his exuberance while fabricating and stating fictitious facts.