After years of incessant barking and arse-licking, the Indian National Congress has finally decided to award Mr. Digvijay Singh. In an official announcement it was revealed that his name has now been forwarded for the national animal of the country. The Congress spokesperson said ” The tigers are no more a rare species. They number well over 1400 now, whereas Diggi is only one of his kind. We must honor him before his species gets extinct.”
The move comes after yet another show of loyalty by Diggi towards the Italian Royal family. Today holding a press meet in his shed, Diggi had said, “bow-wow, wow-wow madam, bow-wow kejriwow” which was interpreted by experts as “Kejriwal was refused a place in NAC by madam, hence his anger against her toddlers, whom she has been feeding so lovingly and with care.” Apparently, madam was so touched by this barks, she ordered an immediate amendment of the national animal and also some top class pedigree from an Italian restaurant.
Interestingly the opposition seems to have no qualms about this step as the have agreed to grant a one day window in the next parliament session to get this bill passed. However, they stood firm on their demand of non-functioning of parliament for the rest of the session. In fact, the opposition spokesperson seemed to be in a good mood, as he laughed throughout the press conference. This is what he said .”Hahahaha, yes we will allow the parliament to function for a day to get this bill passed, hahahahaha.”
The common man seemed as indifferent to this turn of events as he is to all government initiatives. One of them said, ” It hardly matters whether our national animal is a tiger or a dog (sic) ,oops, Diggi. All we want is that Sachin carefully plans out his retirement mindful of not leaving a void and not overdoing it either. And Dhoni must be replaced as the captain as soon as possible.”
Towards the evening, the media flocked to Diggi’s shed to get his encoded opinion about being subject to such honor, but all they found there was a dry object which seemed to be rich in phosphorous and calcium. Sources in the PMO said that the pedigree had arrived from Italy, so the reporters inferred Diggi to be having a feast at 10 Janpath. They too returned to their respective homes to catch some live coverage of CLT20. By the way, Yuvraj scored a double century for North Zone today, yay!!!