Delhi government in a landmark decision has decided to open a new University in the National Capital. The University, to be known as Great Arvind Nautankilal Dilli University (GAN-DU), will be headed by the Chief Minister of Delhi- Hon. Shri Arvind Nautankilal. The government also announced its intention to confer upon the following people, honorary degrees from GAN-DU-
1. Arvind Nautankilal
Arvind Nautankilal will be awarded Advanced Doctorate in Honesty, Integrity and Probity. This doctorate is essentially a self certification course and therefore Nautnkilal’s degree would be signed by Nautankilal himself. The Doctorate includes 8 credit courses in Mud slinging, Name calling and lying publicly.
GAN-DU will offer an eponymous School completion certificate to Pappu. The certificate will clearly mention that Pappu can read, write and copy and is capable of elementary Mathematics.The certificate will identify Pappu as a Star of GAN-DU. However, the certificate will not confer upon Pappu, the ability to think or talk.
3. PigVijay Singh
Piggy Raja would be awarded an Advanced Diploma in Canine Behvaior. As a result of this diploma, Piggy Raja would be better able to understand the characteristics of Dogs and hence behave more like them. Piggy Raja would be able to learn tricks such as when to bark at opponents, when to lick up to Madam and when to drool on Pappu.
4. Quitendra Tomar
Quitendra Tomar will be awarded an Advanced Diploma in Degree Manufacture as an appreciation of his efforts to bring innovation in the ailing education sector
Aansutosh will be awarded a Masters Degree in Nautanki. As a result of this degree, Aansutosh will learn how to cry, bawl and weep during TV interviews. He will be taught the nuances of fence climbing, stone pelting, screaming and abusing.The degree will also teach Aansutosh the ability to raise his voice to ultrasonic levels.