Thursday, 26th April, 2018

Curb the CAD: Radical Measures

04, Aug 2013 By Nirwa Mehta

In an attempt to arrest the widening current account deficit (CAD), the Government of India has come up with revolutionary solutions.  Crude oil, coal and gold form a major chunk of the imports and hence the Indian Government has come up with radical suggestions to reduce our dependence on these commodities.

1. Ceremonies across the country to do away with the custom of ‘lighting the lamp’.  According to the estimates, this will bring down the oil imports by 80 percent.

2. Rakesh Roshan to be roped in for Koyla part 2.  After the run away success of the 90s hit Koyla, Rakesh Roshan has been approached to direct a new film Koyla part 2.  The government is hoping to burn the prints of the movie in coal-based thermal power plants across the country to compensate the reduced quantity of coal produced in India.  Rakesh Roshan was unavailable for comment.

3. Tickets to Great Golden Circus to be given out instead of gold.  Sources associated with the ministry said the increasing value of gold can be balanced out by the decreased demand of the Great Golden Circus, and anyone who wants to buy 10 gms gold will be eligible to a couple ticket to the circus.  The government is also considering making the Great Golden Circus tickets tradable on the commodity exchange.  Other possibility the government is looking at is making authorized Godmen who could produce gold out of thin air.  Only those holding certificate of authenticity to be allowed so that the currently existing unorganised segment can be systematised.

The press conference held to discuss the above solutions started with the traditional lighting the lamp ceremony.