Monday, 19th March, 2018

Congress workers in Kerala eat cow-dung cakes after rumours of a cow-dung ban

01, Jun 2017 By psych0bar0n

Trivandrum: Continuing with their vociferous protests against Hindus the central governments decision to implement the law pertaining to cattle slaughter, Congress workers in Kerala today went a step ahead and ate cow-dung cakes in public. According to our sources, the incident happened when rumours spread that the BJP govt led by Modi had banned consumption of cow-dung.

Mr Biju Secularappan, head of the Kerala Youth Congress told our reporters, “After slaughtering a hapless baby cow on the streets and eating its meat, we were relaxed that we had proved our secular credentials by pissing off these Hindus communal forces. However, today we learnt that this bigoted BJP government has banned us from eating cow-dung. So we proved our secularism once again by cutting cow-dung cakes and eating the slices.”

Cow dung cake with vanilla
Cow dung cake with vanilla

Supporting Mr Biju in his protests was another secular intellectual, Arundhoti Boy. “I totally and wholeheartedly condemn any decision made by this communal Modi government. Eating cow-dung is part of our human rights, We will eat cow-dung to proclaim our defiance and show these Hindus communal BJP workers their rightful place. As usual, she also blamed the Indian army for violating her inhuman rights by preventing her from savoring cow dung cutlets and coconut chutney  under the garb of AFSPA.

Our sources have confirmed that the Communist parties are planning a fest of their own to outshine the Congress, in which, all party workers would relish not only cow-dung, but also bull-shit and buffalo-poo sweetmeats.

Local police tried to break up the dung parties after which there were widespread clashes between police and the congress workers in which many Congress leaders suffered head injuries. On careful examination, doctors were surprised to see that the X-rays and CT scans showed cow dung presence in their brains too.

Meanwhile, cows and bulls in Kerala were seen migrating en masse to the Karnataka border. “We are afraid that the congress and communist party workers might keep trying to prove their secularism by slaughtering us so we are relocating to Karnataka temporarily” said cow union leader Gayya Devi before trotting off across the Kerala border.