Monday, 11th December, 2017

Congress to elect Modi namesakes to create ambiguity during elections

17, Dec 2013 By pairated

In the aftermath of 4-state election failure, Congress called upon its top brass to form strategies to counter the Modi wave. After several hours of head-scratching and hair-pulling discussions, the party has finally decided to confuse the entire nation by spawning multiple people named Narendra Modi. As per a Congress leader, who chose to remain anonymous, this absurd principle of redundancy to create wave attenuation, will create chaos among the general public and dilute the hype over Modi brand of politics.

Hadh kar di in logon ne.
Hadh kar di in logon ne.

Various political pundits were quick to force their expert opinion on this matter, even though “your favourite News website” did not ask for it. Mr. Simha, who had live-tweeted the famous Rahul’s speech walkout, wrote an elaborate passage about this new plan being a tried and tested formula for Congress over the years. The redundancy in PMO, have worked wonders for the party till now.

“A billion-plus people have been guessing about the actual PM for the last 9 years. This confusion has deteriorated the thinking-ability and memory of the people, to an extent where most people have no memory of hearing words such as Bofors, 2G, Coalgate, jan lokpal, Raja, Tharoor and many others which I cannot remember now”, he said.

According to Mr. Chatterjee, a retired professor of political science, this could be the game-changer for Congress, for the upcoming general elections. With multiple Modis in the field, the daily coverage for the genuine Modi will be reduced.

Mr. Chatterjee predicted that the new controversies and scandals which have already been planned by the party, can be propagated using Namo-sakes, as they are popular called now, to create an avalanche of non-sensical reports, which would mask the actual reports of the Gujarat CM.

Mr. Chatterjee stuck to his Bengali roots by suggesting that the Modi candidate for Kolkata should be named “Norendra”, to tweak the popular NaMo tag to “NoMo”, for appealing the Bengali voters.

Youth Congress has taken the responsibility of a nationwide search, for people who are named “Narendra Modi”. The youth wing leader, Mr. RaGa shared his delusional thoughts and I quote, “this depends on one’s perspective and this kind of search for people with such a name and a distinctive yet destructive persona, is like looking for a woman with hopes of building a home with flowers and leaves on a barren land owned by one of my family members.”

To recruit and train the Namo-sakes, Congress is in talks with Rowdie Raghu and Rowdie Rajeev from a popular reality TV show.

BJP and NaMo himself was unavailable for any comments.