Thursday, 22nd March, 2018

Congress politicians use public toilets to impress common men

08, Jan 2014 By Shiva Kumar Dhivakar

A public toilet in a Delhi slum

After AAP leaders won praise for commuting by public transport to the Delhi assembly, politicians from the Congress, in a desperate attempt to impress the common men, have gone a step further by preferring to use toilets at public places instead of the opulent ones at their homes.

Hordes of journalists, upon receiving this information, gathered in front of a public toilet near a Delhi slum brandishing mikes and cameras with one hand and hankies pressed against their noses with another as Congress leader Digvijay Singh emerged out of the dilapidated building holding an empty mineral water-bottle.

When asked about his experience, the veteran politician, who seemed to be holding his breath all this while, opened his mouth wide, drew a deep breath and made an expression of immense relief as if he had just run a marathon.

“Congress leader Digvijaya Singh has no words to express how good the public toilets in Delhi are,” declared an NDTV reporter to her cameraman at the venue.

Several party workers clapped and whistled in the background.

“It was legendary,” said the veteran politician breaking his silence finally. “I’ve never felt so close to heaven before.”

“Under ‘Rajiv Gandhi Shaucalaya Yojana’, we made sure each and every public toilet in India is regularly cleaned and well-maintained,” he added. “I’m sure you’ll never find such clean toilets anywhere else in the world, not even in Gujarat.”

As he was speaking, Digvijay Singh suddenly burped, then hurriedly sprinted away from the glare of the cameras and leapt into this car after which an earsplitting noise like that of a dinosaur puking was heard from inside the vehicle.

“I dare Narendra Modi to perform this feat,” he groaned from inside before throwing up yet again as a result of inhaling the nauseating stench from the public toilet.

However, regulars users of the public toilet were not impressed by this political gimmick.

“I used to wait in this queue for an hour every morning to unload my stomach. Now because of these politicians & their security cover intruding into the queue, my wait has increased to two hours,” grunted an angry rickshaw-driver from the same locality.

Meanwhile, there were reports that a politician from rural Delhi, who on a similar mission to win favour of the voters before the impending Lok Sabha elections, was unable to locate any public toilets in a village under his constituency, so he began defecating by a paddy field along with other farmers to prove that he was also an aam admi.