Tuesday, 21st November, 2017

Congress Party Ticket Application Form

04, Sep 2013 By Alok Sharma

Thank you for showing interest in a Con-gress Party ticket. We are the undisputed leaders in fooling the voters for over 60 years now. Come join us and be a part of it.

Eligibility

Rahul Gandhi
Rahul Gandhi worked all night to finalize contents of this form

  1. Must follow Rahul baba, Digvijay Singh and others on twitter and re-tweet their tweets frequently. Must like all Gandhi family pages on Facebook.
  2. Must be willing to participate in regular scams.
  3. Must be Secular (hahaha) and anti-Modi.
  4. Swiss bank accounts are a necessity.
  5. Perks and benefits

    1. Complete insurance cover (including prison-free tenure, patents for scams) for 5 years if selected.
    2. Claim to fame by being publicly stupid in the media (under the guidance from Sri Digvijay ji).
    3. Free travel.
    4. Potential President-ship after retirement.

    Please fill the following form to the join the biggest name in the Con business.

    Personal details

    Name ________________________ (surname must NOT be Modi or related)

    IQ ______ (above 50 not acceptable)

    Age_______

    Sex_____ (Male/Female /Engineer/Uncertain)

    Favorite Digvijay Singh quotes ______________________________________________________

    In case of you or the party is found guilty, please choose the default entity to blame

    • RSS
    • Opposition ki saazish
    • ISI
    • Arvind Kejriwaal, Anna

    Experience

    No of scams participated in ____

    Details of any major scam and your role ________________________________________________________________________________________________

    ________________________________________________________________________________________________

    Dinner at a dalit’s house ?? (yes/no) ______

    (If no, then have some and upload the pictures on our Facebook page for further verifications)

    Targeted net worth over the next 5 years ___________

    Constituency details

    (Note – the constituency must have at least 5 streets, street lamps etc. named after a Gandhi family member)

    Constituency name ____________

    Development details and projections for the next few years ________________________________________________________________

    (‘pothole-free roads’, ‘24 hour water and electricity supply’, and other such abusive terms must not be used)

    Details to take care of while filling the form

    1. Any disrespect to Con-gress, Rahul baba or any respect to anyone else may result in the applicant being locked in a room with Digvijay Singh’s media comment tapes.
    2. The party reserves the rights to tag any applicant as a member of the opposition or RSS.
    3. Any mention of Gujarat or M-word will be dealt with severe consequences.

    Author’s Blog – Just Spilled It Out the above fake form is based on this real report